


To Love in Return

by PendragonQueen09



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Abuse, Caps warning, Child Abuse, College AU, Dee is just very unfortunate, Fire, Human AU, Idk I'm just writing randomly, Implied homophobia, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Unrequited Love, Using ice cream to cope with feelings, at first, i mean he's not really a child but close, touch starvation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-16 14:26:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14166843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PendragonQueen09/pseuds/PendragonQueen09
Summary: Logan understands himself quite well.  At least, that was what he believed before he met Roman.  He's extroverted, sporty, and loves to put on a show.  Logan is quiet and loves to read.  Logically, it wouldn't work.  So why does Roman have to like him?  And to make things worse, why won't his own heart stop pounding...?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just Logince at the beginning and there isn't any Moxiety at all until about chapter six? So don't be expecting it super soon haha  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy! I already wrote 8 chapters and I'm only posting this due to friends because I just write for myself a lot of the time. But hey! If others enjoy it! That's nice too!

Logan wasn’t an emotional person.

He took no offense to the idea. It was just another fact in his head. Pluto was a dwarf planet, the sky was blue from oxygen and sunlight…

He wasn’t emotional. He never had been.

In Elementary and Middle School, he was often left by himself. Other students tried to associate with him, but his conversations with them were entirely too much. The other students were bubbly, smiley. He felt awkward continuing meaningless conversations with them, and so they all eventually petered off into nothing. The only one he interacted with at all was a boy named Virgil, and only because Logan knew he wouldn’t talk to him for no reason. After a while, the others stopped bothering him, letting him read at his desk all class. 

He was scolded often for reading in class, but what could he do? He’d already read the material and studied everything being taught. It was boring to listen to his science teacher drone on about the planets in the solar system when Logan had already learned all of the elements in the periodic table.

Instead, he would read.

He loved fantasy stories. Science-fiction. He didn’t know everything that would happen. Every story was different, unique, intriguing. 

Eventually, his stories became predictable as well. Books would always follow a linear pattern. Guaranteed, he loved the pattern. Protagonist of meager stature is confronted with a problem that they solve to gain their happy ending. He hated when books ended sadly. What was the point of all of that emotional turmoil for the character if it all amounted to failure in the end?

Regardless, he grew bored of it.

Time-travel became his favorite trope.

He could never get enough of it. He could never fully predict it. People who chose to write about time-travel well tended to be the type that would think outside of the box. They had to be capable of imagining thousands of different possibilities based off of one decision that the character made, possibly impacting the future for the best or the worst. It would cause a seemingly impossible-to-fix problem, in which the character would have to decide whether they wanted to even exist anymore if their not existing meant the universe could continue on without destroying itself, giving Logan a bittersweet ending that he could appreciate.

That was a trope he would be willing to re-read a hundred thousand times.

And, coincidentally, the one he was reading right now.

He sighed contentedly, placing the book on the table in thought as he sipped at his tea in the library. Normally, food and drink weren’t allowed among the books in the school’s collection, but Logan spent so much time there that the librarian eventually began to worry for his health. Although he saw nothing to worry about. He had only collapsed once due to dehydration, but what could he do? There were stories to read. Regardless, she trusted him enough around the stories anyway to not ruin any. He valued them more than his life. But speaking of books...

The protagonist had traveled back in time and met a man of superb capabilities. It was the 1800’s, and he was musically inclined, athletic, and generally amazing. Logan theorized that he was a prince of some sort. It would be difficult to receive his level of education otherwise. He had a few theories on who he may be, but there was nothing conclusive yet, not even a name. Logan would have to wait more to get to that. The character intrigued him. Certainly, he was a bit emotional, but otherwise… he was perfect. A small blush crossed his face, and Logan directed a glare into his cup. Luckily, the character was only that- a character. Logan wouldn't have to worry about his feelings for him. They would never be reciprocated, and that was fine. Relationships were far too complicated to maintain, even from the distance Logan had always kept himself from them.

Logan heard a cough to his left, interrupting his thoughts. He glanced over disinterestedly to see an objectively handsome boy staring at him. The boy’s eyes widened as they met and he blushed before burying his nose in his own book.

Logan raised an eyebrow, turning his own attention back to his book. He had read a bit further when he heard the cough again, looking up to see the same boy staring at him. He smiled slightly, seeming to have the confidence to strike up a conversation after two glances as he opened his mouth, but Logan interrupted him before he could speak.

“The best things for a sore throat are tea, honey, cough drops, and suck candies. Please do not bother me about it a third time,” and he directed his attention back to the book, not quite missing the dejected look on the boy’s face.

He didn’t cough again, but Logan could feel his eyes staring after him sadly, and after a moment he looked up again with an exasperated sigh. The boy’s face brightened as he spoke, calculatingly. “What is it you want from me, if not my vast knowledge? I have nothing else to offer, you know.”

The boy spoke happily, not quite in the whisper a library demanded. “My name is Roman!”

After a long pause, he fumbled, turning red and almost dropping his book as he attempted to hold it up to show Logan. When he did manage to, it was upside-down. “Look! It’s… the same book!”

Logan’s almost smiled, and his eyes widened infinitesimally. Almost smiled. Not at the boy, but at the idea that someone else had the same interests as him. It was easy to keep the uninterested look, however, as he saw that Roman was only a few pages into the book, and with closer inspection that Logan did not think to do, had not progressed past the first page of writing. “And?”

The boy’s face was absurdly red. Logan wondered if he had a fever along with his sore throat. Care was not his strong suit. He’d have to ask the librarian. “I just… uhh.. do you wanna… talk about it?” Roman shrugged, a nervous smile on his face as his shoulders hunched and he pulled the book closer. He tilted his head.

Logan’s raised eyebrow only flew higher. “You’re only a few pages in. All that talking would lead to is either my revealing future story contents of the book to you, which is never enjoyable in a time-travel story, or you blathering on about the few pages you have read, which have been so long ago now that I wouldn’t even remember.”

Roman blinked, the flush fading a bit as he turned the book upside-down toward himself to look at the cover. “It’s about time-travel…?”

He glared. 

Logan wasn’t the type to get emotional.

He wasn’t an emotional person, but…

This boy was pushing all of his buttons.

“Why would you pick up a book if you didn’t even read the summary?” He spoke with daggers laced into his words. Roman flinched, using the book to cover up his mouth as he began to blush again.

“B-because… I… uh…”

He didn’t get the chance to finish as Logan shook his head, returning his attention to his own copy of the book, sipping tea at the same time. He couldn’t focus on the words. Roman was still staring at him, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the… completely illogical actions of the other. There was no reason whatsoever why Roman would have picked up the book. He was burning with a curiosity over it. He hated not knowing things. 

Logan directed a sidelong glare towards Roman over the book. “Well?”

The other paused for a second, having thought the topic was dropped. He put the book down with a bit of a slam, shaking Logan’s cup. “I-I have my reasons! They aren’t any of your concern!”

Irritating.

“That’s it, I’m not angry, just irritated.” Logan spoke quietly, but Roman still picked it up in the silent library.

“Irritated? With… me?” He looked crestfallen. Logan didn’t know why he should care. He also didn’t know whether he actually did care or not.

“Yes. You irritate me. More than anybody I’ve ever met.” Logan stared intently at him.

“W-well… at least you’re honest?” Roman shrugged again, forcing a smile. An optimist.

“I do try to be.” He moved back to his book, hoping that now that he’d cleared out his… feelings, he would be able to read easier. He saw Roman do the same out of the corner of his eye.

They both read in silence for a while before Roman interrupted it.

“I’ve never read a book about time-travel before.”

Logan’s eye twitched slightly, but he managed to calm himself.

“Honestly, I don’t read very often at all.” Roman smiled at Logan tentatively. “It’s not my… uh… strength.” He snickered a bit.

“Was that a pun? Because if it was I swear-“

“No, no, no! I mean… do you like puns? If you don’t then… no.”

“I do not. I appreciate word association games, but not wordplay. What was your original point?”

Roman smiled genuinely, turning his attention back to his book. “I don’t know. I don’t read often, but I like this book. The main character is nice. They’re so smart and calm. How cool would it be to build an actual time-machine in your room?! And they're trying to do it all alone! I really… love intelligent people.” He blushed, smiling at Logan with his head still down. Logan tilted his head back.

“Yes, the main character is intelligent. They aren’t my favorite character though.”

“Really?” Roman’s eyes widened slightly. “Who is then?”

“You haven’t met them yet, you aren’t far enough.”

“Can’t you just… explain them to me?” Roman looked at him hopefully, eyes wide in a feigned innocence.

In return, Logan smirked, brows down. “Nope. If you care so much, then I suppose you’ll turn reading into a habit.” He tilted his head at the other with a mercilessly blank expression on his face. A pout flickered across Roman’s own features as Logan’s watch went off with a small beep. “It appears it is time for my evening class, unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?”

Surprised at himself, Logan blinked. “…A slip of the tongue. Good-bye, Roman.” The other glowed as his name was spoken for the first time in the conversation.

“Seeya, Logan!” Roman shouted after him only to be hushed by the few people in the library as Logan left with his book and tea. He paused in his tracks outside the door. Funny, had he ever actually given Roman his name…? 

He was interrupted from the thought by his second alarm, in case he had been too deeply engrossed in his reading to hear the first. Logan shook his head and speed-walked towards his class. He was sure it had just been another… slip of the tongue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman meets Virgil. Together, they come up with a plan.

Progress. This was progress, right?

Roman paced in his room, running his hands through his hair anxiously before stopping abruptly.

Yes. Of course it was progress. That was obvious. Was it good progress…? That was what he couldn’t decide. 

He’d managed to talk to him. Roman had grabbed the book he was reading off the shelves, sat down next to him, and actually t a l k e d to him. Just the thought of it made him giddy! But in the end, was talking to him a good thing? Had it turned out to be advantageous towards his current position? Logan now knew of his existence. The question, however, was whether Logan’s memory of him was a good one or a bad one.

The conversation had started off rocky, at best, but Roman thought he’d managed to soothe it out slightly by the end. Maybe Logan had caught on to the idea that Roman liked him…? He was dense. Unbelievably dense. Roman let out a chuckle. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. If Logan had caught his flirting, he hadn’t shown a sign. But who could resist…? Roman was the most popular guy in their grade. Logan knew of him, certainly. In theatre, sports, volunteer services… he did so much. 

So why was it, when he introduced himself to Logan, not so much as a spark of recognition flew across his eyes?

It hurt.

To have put so much effort into his own appearance to others, and have somebody, especially when that somebody was Logan, not acknowledging any of it.

He sat down slowly on his bed, leaning his head on his right hand while his left fell onto the bed. It brushed against something hard and he glanced at it vaguely. It was the book from before.

Alright. There was no way Logan didn’t recognize him, at least a bit. And if he didn’t… it didn’t matter. He picked up the book decisively. He would convince Logan that he was everything the rumors said about him. He was strong, handsome… and he was going to make Logan think well of him. Roman opened the book to his page, watching the curtain bookmark fall out onto his lap. He focused on the words on the page, trying to let the story take him away. It became harder the more he tried to focus.

The words on the page swayed, and he found he’d been re-reading the same sentence for the past three minutes. Roman pushed the book into his face tiredly.

He loved stories. He loved cartoons and movies, shows. He loved being told a story. But he’d never been able to just sit and… read a story. It wasn’t that it was too boring, never. His mind wandered too much. He needed more to focus on than just the words on the page.

Roman shook his head, grabbing his phone to pull up a recording of the book. A pit of anger grew in his chest as the monotonous voice read. They were so… boring. He remembered why he hated books now. But… he had to prove himself. To Logan. Logan was so… capable, and smart. Roman didn’t always understand how they breathed the same air.

He could never stop looking at him. In class, he sat in the back with his friends, while Logan sat in the front. He would always be doing something completely different than what the class was on, or maybe just more advanced, but whenever he was asked a question about something on the board he could answer it without even looking up. He continued to scratch out strange little equations onto his papers while replying to history professors with no effort whatsoever. 

Roman would be lying if he said he didn’t find it cute.

He would also be lying if he didn’t say he was a little bit jealous, at first. 

He looked at his own grades to see B’s and C’s. It was his one flaw. He just… wasn’t smart enough. Logan was perfect. He was attractive, intelligent, calm…

Was he the opposite of Roman? Maybe. In a way. But Roman didn’t hate himself, and he didn’t hate Logan, unthinkable. So there had to be something between them both that he loved.

He just couldn’t, for the life of him, think what it may be.

His attention focused back on the story. A new character had been introduced, but he didn’t seem like the type Logan would like at all. He was a jerk, and Roman was getting frustrated and angry just listening to the story. The man had entered the story only to push the protagonist around with a laugh. They had cried, and Roman had almost cried with them. He could only imagine them as Logan. They were almost identical, save the character being non-binary.

What would Roman do if someone hurt or bullied Logan? The thought made a strange rage bloom inside of him. He would protect him from anybody. He knew he wouldn’t be able to think if something bad happened to Logan. Despite the fact that he’d only talked to him once…

He and the character both grew inspired. The character had run back home to finish their machine and leave this place, while Roman vowed to never let anything bad happen to Logan. Not while he was around.

Roman thought this was a good place to stop to keep him reading later. He put the book down hesitantly, turning his volume off on his phone. He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his eyes for a moment before rising. Reading… or having the book read to him, had certainly calmed him down a bit. But he wanted to move around. Some fresh air would do him some good.

He grabbed his book and walked out of his room, turning to the right. He stopped for a moment as he saw the man in the room to his left doing the same and gave him a bright smile and a wave as he continued. They other followed. Maybe Roman could strike up a conversation! He’d tried before, but the other didn’t seem much for talking, and Roman could usually respect that.

Today, he was just really in the mood to talk to someone. 

He fell back a bit, matching their stride. “Hello!”

The other tilted his head a bit, pulling his headphones down uncertainly and hunching over more. “Hiiii…..”

A brilliant start! Well, at least compared to other attempts! “My name’s Roman!” He stuck out his hand excitedly. The boy looked at it with a raised brow before hesitantly shaking it.

“I’m… aware. Virgil.”

Roman narrowed his brows at that, but shook his head. It wouldn’t do to make fun of his name! That would be a terrible first impression! “What are you listening to, Virgil?” He spoke the name with the question to better remember it in the future.

“It’s… PATD.”

“Post… auto traumatic disorder.” Roman flung together a few words that almost made sense, but alas, not quite.

“What the… dude. No. Panic. At the disco.” The man in the hoodie made a sick face at even the idea that Roman hadn’t heard of them.

“Oh. The emo one?” He tilted his head in an attempt to remember anything he could about the band. He was sure he’d heard their songs occasionally on the radio, but nothing he listened to regularly.

“Uhhh… yeah…” Virgil buried his face in his hoodie more, seemingly trying not to put his headphones back up. Roman flinched.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to imply anything! I’m sure you’re not emo. It’s only a music taste. It doesn’t define you!” He posed dramatically. “My own taste is in Disney music.”

“Never would have guessed.” Virgil said sarcastically, only moving his eyes to look at Roman.

“…Is that supposed to mean something?”

Virgil shrugged, rolling his eyes and shoulders with it. “Nah, not much. Just that you’re overly dramatic and way too much to deal with. See, I like Disney too, especially the darker messages in the movies, but unlike you, I don’t let them run my life.”

Indignant, defensive, he balled his fist and glared at Virgil, who straightened slightly. Roman noticed with another hint of anger that the boy was taller than him. It was a completely irrational anger, but it only fueled his fire as Virgil smirked down at him with a raised brow. 

“I do not let them r u n my l i f e . I only believe that they teach very important messages we should all learn! There are amazing morals in them to live by, not to live for!” He forced his fist down and tightened it on his clothes. “It’s not just Disney, either! Folktales teach morals as well!” He did not deign to mention that he didn’t have the attention span to read folktales.

“Right, right.” Virgil back away from the red ball of anger slightly, still smirking. “I’m so sorry for criticizing your way of life. Please forgive me.” He spoke in that monotonous voice the readers did for books, and Roman wanted to lash out at him again, but he didn’t get the chance as Virgil pointed to the book he forgot he was holding. “Is that one of your folktales there?”

Roman’s anger melted a bit at the reminder of Logan, and his posture immediately lost its tenseness, something Virgil did not miss. “No. It is… important to me, however.”

“Important? Care to elaborate?” A tilt of the head, a smirk lost to be replaced by curiosity. 

“I’m… reading it to get closer to someone. We don’t really have anything to talk about, and I thought sharing an interest would help.” Roman began blushing slightly as he smiled down at the cover of the book, but Virgil’s anxiety only grew for this guy he had just talked to personally.

“Hang on, you’re saying you share no interests? And you’re still… interested? Are you sure that’s gonna work out?” Skepticism flashed across his features as he swallowed thickly.

A bit of unwarranted betrayal dug its way into Roman’s heart as he looked up again at the other. “Yeah? What does it have to do with you?” He glared.

Virgil shook his head slightly. “N-nothing. Just… worried, I guess. I dunno. I worry about a lot of things I shouldn’t. You’ll get used to it.” He walked ahead as Roman stopped in place and blinked.

“I’ll… you mean, I haven’t made a bad first impression?” Roman smiled. He had been certain the conversation was going downhill from the moment it began.

“…No? And I thought I was the worrier.” He sighed as they continued walking together. 

They began to approach the building’s exit, finally, and Roman spoke again. “Hey, I was wondering…” He cut himself off as a flash of dark blue crossed his vision and his face turned red. 

Virgil looked back at him anxiously to see him practically glowing as he stared at someone, and Virgil followed his gaze to see… a man carrying the book Roman was carrying. Dressed all in dark blue. glasses…

Logan.

Virgil did a face-palm. He should have known. Of all the people for Roman to have fallen for, it was… Logan. 

Virgil had nothing against Logan. Not at all. He liked the guy. He soothed his insecurities with matter-of-fact statements, as if it was something Virgil should easily know.

But see, Virgil had known Logan all his life. He was…

A husk. Emotionless. How Roman had fallen for him was a mystery.

He supposed he should have seen it coming. From the book about time-travel to the fact that Roman said they shared nothing or next to nothing, there were plenty of signs. But, god, he felt bad. Someone like Roman, with so much obvious love to give…

And he would give it to someone who Virgil was almost certain would never return it.

“So… that’s him?” Virgil swallowed anxiously, desperately hoping for an answer that wasn’t what he knew it to be.

“Y-yeah.” Roman let out a heavy breath as Logan continued on his way, reading as he walked. It was a wonder that he didn’t bump into anything, dodging people and blockades in his path alike without taking his eyes off of the pages.

Virgil sighed, giving Roman a thoughtful look before taking a deep breath. “You should really… just find someone else. Trust me. You’re not the first one to try with him. You’re not going to get anywhere. Hell, he’s never even noticed anyone flirting with him. The idea that he’d return the flirts is just… laughable.” Virgil finished with an awkward side-glance as Roman gave him a curious look.

“You’re close with him?”

“We’re… friends.” If you could call them that. “He helps me out sometimes. Homework, and… other things.” Anxiety. “But I don’t know if he’s ever had feelings of any kind for another person. He just… doesn’t care.”

Roman looked at the ground in thought before smiling. “Well then, if I make my flirts more obvious, we’ll know for sure, right?” He tilted his head, and the blush on his face grew. “Maybe he’s just been too dense in the past.” He certainly was in the library today, he thought silently.

Virgil smiled slightly, but worry gnawed at his insides. If he managed to help Roman and Logan get together, he would have finally assisted Logan in a useful way to him. If he didn’t, and it turned out Logan was just asexual or aromantic, he may end up hurting Logan, and ruining the only thing he considered friendship in his life. With a look at Roman’s excited face, he made his decision. “So… what can I do?” 

And the hope in Roman’s eyes at his offer made it worth it as the fear melted away into determination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment and follow my on Tumblr! I art better than I write haha - pendragonqueen09.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil enact their plan upon a very unsuspecting and confused Logan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly think this is my favorite chapter of the ones I've written so far, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it as well ^^

Logan sighed at the message on his phone. It was from Virgil.

“Hard class. Come 2night? Help me? Please??”

No further comment. Logan didn’t even know what the class was on, and Virgil hadn’t responded to any of his other messages of inquiry. 

Still though, Virgil seemed to be the only one Logan could put up with. He wouldn’t try to provoke useless conversation, and only called when he needed Logan’s help with something. Meanwhile, he provided the necessary companionship every human needed to survive. Logan wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t. No part of him would be lacking in any way. He refused to allow himself to gain long-term mental effects from never talking to anyone. Besides, it built up teamwork skills that he desperately needed, despite not wanting. 

He’d just finished up his last class of the day and was heading over to Virgil’s room. It was more common for Virgil to go to his own room, so Logan had to assume that whatever Virgil was dealing with involved many textbooks he would rather not carry around. Who knew, maybe even one Logan hadn’t read yet.

He opened the door to see…

The boy from earlier in the day, the library. He was sitting on the floor, face bright red, and Logan thought for a moment he had the wrong room. But he didn’t make mistakes. He took a step backward in confusion and the boy’s face fell slightly before Virgil stepped in the doorway and pulled him in by his sleeve. “Where are you going? I have work I need help with.”

Logan stumbled over his own feet, almost tripping over Roman but spinning out of the way in time to land on his butt slightly to the left and back of him. His own face was now flushed slightly and he adjusted his glasses and tie quickly. “I’m… sorry?? I was not aware there would be a new addition to our party today.” He gave a completely befuddled look to Roman, looking back up at Virgil awkwardly. 

“Yeah, he needed help too. With something else though.” Virgil tilted his head and shrugged, and Logan knew he wouldn’t get anymore information out of him. He directed a glare in his direction, but it lacked spite as he was still out of breath from falling.

“S-so… what did you need help with?” He coughed, refusing to glance at the third person in the room again as he decided to simply finish business as soon as he could.

“Oh, yeah. It’s this.” Virgil sat down to Logan’s front left, forcing him to scoot closer to both Virgil and Roman to see the paper. "I don’t know what equation I’m supposed to use, or how I’m supposed to use it? Just help.”

Logan sighed at the simplicity of the problem. “How do you not… Virgil, I taught you this just last week.”

The boy shrugged with a nonchalant expression. “I forgot. Teach me again.”

“Ugh. Fine. Look, you take this number and-“ He stopped suddenly as Roman leaned against his arm.

“And…?” Virgil was staring at the paper intently, and didn’t seem to notice. Logan, however, was noticing plenty. His face grew hot, but he tried to continue his explanation.

“Y-you… plug it… intothatequation.” He pointed toward the equation in question as he took a deep breath. 

Logan did not know what to do.

This was… a very new experience.

Virgil’s eyes widened slightly as he spoke. Maybe that meant he understood. Maybe he could go home now.

Instead, Virgil smiled, and pointed to another problem on the paper. “Oh! Okay, so I do the same for this one too, right?”

Logan was regaining his focus, even with Roman leaning on him. It was just the surprise of it. That was all. This was fine, otherwise. He would never get… flustered, over something as simple as this. Besides that, Roman was probably just tired, and that was all it was. 

He frowned at the expression Virgil had pointed to, letting out a whine of disappointment. “No, Virgil? That’s a completely different problem. It’s the shapes, you’re calculating the area of the hexagon? Honestly, you know this. This shouldn’t be that difficuLT-” Logan’s voice rose on the last syllable as Roman turned his head in toward his chest and wrapped his arms around him.

Logan. Did not. Know what. To do.

He held his arms up awkwardly, face fully red now as he thought about whether he should pry the arms off or not. This was an entirely new experience, and he couldn’t even document it because Virgil still didn’t know how to do his problems and was still asking for help while somehow not seeing the predicament he was in? It would be rude to ask for help, and he was sure Virgil would see and help him soon, but he’d been sure of that from the moment Roman leaned into him and Virgil hadn’t looked up from the papers once. He was never this focused on his homework, why now, of all times?

Logan awkwardly let his hands fall on Roman. Was this weird for him? Why was he doing this if it was? A hand resting on Roman’s back, Logan directed his attention once again to Virgil.

“So, if I put this number here, wouldn’t it equal the same thing as if this number were here?”

Logan let out an exasperated sigh as he pointed to the problems. “No! It wouldn’t, Virgil! Look- this one is to the fourth power, while this one is to the second. They couldn’t possibly equal the same thing in a million years! Literally speaking! I don’t understand why you need help with- th-this-!“ His speech faltered as Roman pulled his way up until they were facing each other at eye level, and Logan swallowed thickly as he tried to lean slightly back from Roman, failing as Roman's arms were still wrapped around him, and only managing to lean his own arms on the carpet behind him while Roman towered over him slightly. Especially strange as Roman was the shorter of the two, and it only made Logan’s face more red, if that was possible, as Roman leaned in to his ear to whisper.

“Your eyes are more beautiful than the stars, and I want you to go out with me.”

Logan blinked.

His brain didn’t… process.

He pushed Roman gently off of him and back to his side, staring blankly at him. The other looked at him with a confident expression, just barely masking his fear. That Logan would say no.

But what would Logan say?

“I’m… I… w…” His brows furrowed. His blush was gone. His brain was gone. He stood silently, walked quickly over to the door, and opened it. After a second of thought. He turned back into the room, looking down at the two occupants. He saw Virgil finally looking up at him, and realized that they had both planned all of that. “I… d…” He shook his head, hitting it with his right hand as his left held the door still. One more look at the two before he bluntly said “Bye,” and he left.

The room was silent for a few minutes as both tried to process what had just happened.

“Was that… a success? Or a failure?” Roman looked at Virgil in confusion.

“I… honestly have no clue.”

They stared at the door for another half hour before either of them decided to move.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Roman talk about 'feelings.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am eating jelly beans and I do not like jelly beans but they taste very good today and this has nothing to do with the story btw but I thought it was important that you know

Logan internally screamed, and it came out as a little whine as he buried his head in his hands. He leaned his elbows against his desk and peered out around his hands at his computer.

Who even… w a s he. Or at the very least, who did he think he was.

And... how was Logan going to respond.

He’d never had anyone… do something like this. Nobody liked him in that way. It was another thing besimply believed to be fact. His brain first turned to suspicion. It had to be some kind of prank. But if it were, Virgil wouldn’t have contributed. He would be far too worried about losing Logan’s help and companionship, or gaining an enemy. Logan was surprised at the fact that Virgil had contributed at all as it were. 

How did… Logan feel about Roman.

His face screwed into discomfort. Feelings. The bane of his existence. Head shaking, he pulled up his computer.

It didn’t matter how he felt. 

Objectivity. Objectivity.

As he typed in their school and Roman’s name, he realized he never got Roman’s last name. 

It didn’t matter, he noted, as the boy’s name and last name popped up on the screen anyway. Roman Prince...? And secondly, he wasn’t the first to do a background search…? Roman confessed to others often, perhaps. It would make much more sense than the idea that Roman simply liked Logan. But this was the only evidence, and it was very loose... best to believe what Roman said until he had more facts.

He clicked on the name, and videos and pictures flooded the screen. Acting, singing, football games. Logan’s blush spread.

How did someone like this fall for him?

He leaned back in his chair. Roman seemed to be a remarkable person. Logan believed his genetics should certainly be carried on. The problem would be compatibility. Logan wasn’t… like that. He didn’t do sports, or sing, or act. Well, he sang, but only to himself, and rarely. He read. He studied. They were complete opposites! How did Roman think a relationship would work? His irritation with the other grew as he closed his computer. His answer? Absolutely not. He and the ‘popular kid?’ Logan felt the urge to laugh.

No. He wouldn’t put Roman, or himself, through that.

He laid down in his bed to rest.

Roman would be told when he saw him tomorrow. Or if he saw him.

Maybe Roman will have given up already.

Maybe...

———— 

Roman laid awake in bed. He couldn’t sleep.

He’d managed to get Logan to blush. Heavily blush. As if nobody had flirted with him in that way before, ever. But when he had confessed, Logan had just… left. His expression hadn’t been happy. It hadn’t been angry, scared, or sad. He was just… blank. Roman couldn’t read him, and he considered himself an amazing people reader. He needed to be. He had an appearance to keep up.

Virgil hadn’t known either. He had been just as confused as Roman felt. 

But… that wasn’t a no? Logan had not said no. He allowed himself to feel a slight bit of hope. Maybe he had just been shocked. He was very dense, and Roman doubted that he had ever noticed a flirt before. That… that was the only problem. Roman convinced himself of it. There was no way Logan would… would refuse him. He was the most popular guy in their class! He was handsome, and a good singer, and athletic! …But what if.

What if Logan didn’t care about any of that. What if Logan thought of the first encounter, and hated Roman as a person. What if Logan hated sports, and singing, and theatre, and he hated Roman for even liking them.

What if. What if. What if.

Roman moved his arms to exhaustedly cover his eyes. It would be okay. Logan would say yes. He would. And if he didn’t… No. He would. Roman was sure he would.

He glanced over at his phone, grabbing it with one hand still covering his face. He pulled up the recording and sighed, letting the arm with the phone rest by his ear as he listened.

Through trials and tribulations, the machine was successfully finished, and the protagonist was standing before it, barely willing to touch it in awe...

————  
The protagonist introduced themselves to the man, who claimed he was a certain 'Prince Albert.' He hated seeing people put through the suffering they had, and he said that he’d already resolved to abolish slavery when he grew older. Logan nodded with the main character. Slavery was illogical. Humans were far more productive under good conditions. Of course, there was also the emotional aspect, but Logan wouldn't delve into that on his own.

It was morning. Logan had already arrived at the library with tea for the first half of his day. He only had afternoon classes, but he refused to wake late and waste the day. 

He sipped at the tea, but almost spit it out as someone sat beside him, and that someone could only be one.

Roman beamed at him, holding his own book close. There were circles under his eyes, but they were still bright and happy, matching his smile.

“Logan! Guess what?!” He spoke, and Logan forgot what he was supposed to tell him as he responded on autopilot.

“Hm?”

The boy pushed the book towards Logan’s face, and his smile widened as Logan almost fell off his chair in an attempt to not get hit with it. “I think I’m caught up with you!! What page were you on?!” Roman peered over his shoulder at his own book and his breath caught in his throat as he did so.

Too close.

“213? I’m on page 204!” At that, Logan did spit out a bit of tea, and Roman tilted his head in confusion.

“YoU… wHat.” He coughed out, looking at Roman’s book which, did indeed, have a bookmark around the 200’s. “HOW.”

“I just… read a lot!” Roman looked to the side, and Logan could spot a falsehood, although he didn’t know exactly what.

“How does the protagonist respond to the dinosaurs they originally encounter on page 78.”

“The dinosaurs? Well, first they almost died because they couldn’t stop taking pictures with the velociraptors as proof that they had feathers, and more importantly that their feathers could look cool, but after that they take a video of the pterodactyls and leave with their machine.”

Logan couldn’t find a fault in the explanation. “…That is…” Impressive. “Adequate proof thus far. What about on page 182, in which the character’s machine begins acting up, at what time period do they find themselves?”

“The 1800’s! It’s not far enough back for them to specifically care about, but they get excited about the idea of meeting historical figures, like Hamilton! Although, they ended up in Europe, which isn’t fully explained yet but the book is pretty good so I have a feeling it’ll be explained soon.”

Logan sighed in defeat. “I never really…” Thought I’d meet someone who would read at my pace. He shook his head, looking the other in the eyes intensely. “Roman, I have something to tell you.”

The boy in question looked up at Logan, and worry flashed over his face for a moment, only a moment, but Logan didn’t miss it. He felt a tightness in his stomach as he continued.

“I… do not wish to engage in romantic affairs with someone like you. I apologize.” He looked away so he didn’t figuratively see Roman’s heart splinter. His shoulders were tense as he waited. For what, he didn't know. There wasn't much more left for this conversation.

“…Someone like me?” His voice was much calmer than Logan would have predicted. It was laced with slight heartbreak, but he could faintly detect a hint of hope. Confusing.

“Yes. We are… incompatible. A relationship between us simply would not succeed. You are athletic, I am, as it is called, a ‘nerd.’”

“Logan…” Roman’s voice was more concerned than crestfallen now, and Logan finally looked at him. “That’s not… how love works. It doesn’t matter if we’re… compatible, in your mind, or not. I just want to know how you f e e l . “

“How I… feel.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t… feel.” Logan fidgeted, looking at his hands awkwardly. He was starting to wish this conversation would end soon, or better yet, that it’d never even started.

“You don’t… feel… what?” 

“I just… don’t. At all. Feelings are… nonsense.”

“That’s… what you think, isn’t it?” A widening of the eyes as Roman seemed to realize something. “It’s not that you don’t feel. But you don’t want to. Right?” And it was. And Logan felt years of denial crash down on him as he looked at Roman uncertainly. 

If he spoke, he would confirm it.

He forced a stern expression to his face and a glare, but inside he was reeling. He swallowed thickly. “No. I just don’t feel.” He saw the doubt in Roman’s eyes, but looked back toward his book to postpone any further comments. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to read.”

“Right…” Roman also looked back down at his book.

It was half an hour later when Logan realized Roman had yet to flip one page.

He looked over to be sure that Roman hadn’t fallen asleep in the library. No, he was still concentrating on the book. So why…? He looked at Roman’s page number. Yes. 204. He looked back to Roman, raising a brow.

“Are you quite alright?” He whispered, and Roman jumped, looking to him and wiping his eyes. Logan saw tears of frustration pooling in the corners before he did, and his own eyes widened a fraction. 

“Me? Yeah! Of course! I’m fine!”

Logan looked once again at the page. If he remembered correctly, which of course he did, because his memory was not flawed...

“Are you crying at the mention of slavery? I didn’t believe the author made it that sad, but you’ve been stuck on that page for a half hour. The facts do not suggest that you are ‘fine.’”

“No, that’s not…” Roman stopped himself, seeming hesitant about saying something. “Yeah. That’s it.” His voice sounded husky, and Logan saw through the lie easily. 

“Be honest. I hate dishonest people.” He glared over his glasses at Roman with a sigh as Roman flinched back slightly.

The boy looked around, as if for an answer, before his posture slumped a bit. “I’m not… good at reading.” Logan raised a skeptical brow, looking at the page he was on. Roman seemed to understand, and rushed to clarify. “I mean! I don’t have the attention for it. I can be read a story, but I’m not good at… reading them myself.” He shrugged, trying to concentrate again on the page before leaning back in defeat.

“Why are you… here, then? You have no reason to be.”

Roman tilted his head at Logan with a knowing smirk, brow raised. “You really don’t know the answer? Think about it.”

A small blush spread to Logan’s cheeks. “Oh." He coughed, avoiding Roman's gaze. “You… live in the room next to Virgil’s, correct?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“No reason in particular. Just a consideration.” Logan didn’t clarify, grabbing his cup of tea and drinking the last of it. He looked into the empty mug for a moment before rising as his alarm went off. “I have a class I must attend to. Farewell.”

He tried to leave, but Roman grabbed at his sleeve before he could, immediately jumping back as if burnt. “Uh, sorry, I just.” He coughed, and his face turned red a moment before he shook his head to clear it, rising on his own to face Logan. His eyes narrowed with a smirk and he ran a hand down Logan’s tie, grabbing the end of it and looking at it as he spoke. “I have a football game. In one week. I know you probably won’t enjoy it, but…” His eyes trailed up to meet Logan’s. “I would appreciate you being there to support me. As a friend, of course.” He tilted his head in a way that did not signify that they were friends, leaning in closer and winking. “I can count on you, right?” 

There was uncertainty in his eyes, and Logan could tell it took more than a little courage to ask when Logan had already rejected him. He pretended to think for a moment before giving Roman a smile. “Certainly. As a friend, it would be rude to decline.” His second alarm rang. “However, at this moment in time, I do have a class I must be at, so I say, fare. Well.” He plucked Roman’s hand off of his tie and walked out of the room. Once outside, he took a few seconds to desparately collect his breath and thoughts, leaning against the door with a hand over his chest. There was a mild worry that Roman was going to kill him soon with the fluttering he experienced, but he brushed it off and continued to his next class.

Roman collapsed in his own chair, putting his head in a hand and letting out a nervous, quiet chuckle. He’d said yes! He’d said no. But there was more to that. Roman just didn’t know what yet. He grabbed his book, prepared to head home and listen to fifty pages or so this afternoon, when he saw Logan’s book still sitting on the table.

Grabbing it, he furrowed his brows. Logan must have been in quite a hurry to leave it behind. He was the most responsible person Roman had ever met in his life. And Roman had no idea what class Logan had first. He thought for a moment before putting the two books in his bag together. 

He’d give it to Virgil, or take it to Logan tomorrow. Hopefully he didn’t worry about it too much until then.

In the meantime, he had football practice to get to. He was already late. Oh well. They could wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan goes to Roman to retrieve his lost book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOO finally on to that tag that I added that has not appeared yet :DD (no not moxiety that's the next chapter)

Roman’s theatre practice and football practice both went well, and he had completed his homework in the classes he had. He was practically skipping on his way home. He pulled his phone out, plugging in his earbuds to listen to the story.

He’d already stayed up all night last night, so he wanted to catch up with Logan as quickly as he could and get to bed early. He wasn’t too tired now, but he knew it would hit him by tomorrow, and he wanted to have at least a bit of sleep before exhaustion set in.

The recording started playing where he left off, and he cringed at the once-again monotonous voice. They sounded like a robot. Roman could make the assumption that they plugged the words into one of those websites that read in different voices if he didn’t know any better. 

He opened the door to his room, still wearing the sour expression, sitting down on the edge of the bed, already slightly sleepy. Nothing to exhaust you like bad emotions.

He’d only just sat down when he heard a knock on his door, and rose to see who it was.

Opening the door in confusion, he spoke. “Logan?”

“Ah. Roman. Tell me, have you seen my book? I’ve been waiting for you to come home a while to ask you, but I began dozing on the bench outside.” Roman tilted his head at the bench, realizing he must be extremely exhausted to have missed the other.

“Your… Oh, yeah. I forgot about it.” The boy reached into the bag at his side and took the book out to hand it to Logan. “Here you go. You left it at the library.”

“My thanks.” Logan continued standing there, an expression on his face like he wanted to say something. “May I come in?”

Roman spluttered a bit, flushing. “Into my room? …You?”

“Yes, I thought my question was fairly straightforward.”

“Uh… why??” Roman inquired.

“Of course. Reasoning is important. I would like to help you with your reading, if that would be permitted.”

“With my… reading.”

“Why, yes. You had bags under your eyes this morning, and though I lo-appreciate people who attempt to pursue knowledge in any way, it amounts to nothing if you are not staying healthy. Not that I am a good example of that, but I do help Virgil and he only does his homework for a grade.” Logan made a face of distaste. “Can I be certain that you are staying healthy? I may even be able to help you with your reading speed.”

“…yeah. Sure.” Roman stood out of the way of the other, inviting him into his room reluctantly. Was he actually… yes he was. Roman was purposefully inviting his unrequited crush into his room, as if nothing could go wrong. 

Logan immediately sat on the bed, and Roman coughed. Logan was on his bed. Logan was in his room. He shook his head. The other was here to help with reading. He did not have feelings for Roman, and that was fine.

Roman sat next to him with his own book, fidgeting awkwardly.

“Read aloud.” Logan spoke. “From your page.”

Roman raised a brow, opening the book to 205. “Logan… I can’t…”

“Of course you can. You deliver lines from a script, why should this be different?”

“The words are smaller. And even with a script, I usually have someone else tell me what the lines are first beforehand so I know the basics of what I’m saying.” He squinted at the page. “The words move around too much in a book. I can’t read them.”

“As in dyslexia? I haven’t educated myself much on it.”

“Maybe, or ADHD. I don’t know. I’d rather not get a diagnosis for anything. It makes things too… concrete.” 

Logan nodded. “And how have you read so far?”

“Recordings.” Roman pulled his phone out, clicking play. The speaker continued dully, and he had to click pause again as both of them winced.

“You’ve listened to more than four hours of that?” Logan tilted his head in confusion. “I am… confounded. How have you not smashed your phone into a wall by now?”

“…Restraint, I guess?” Roman shrugged. Logan moved a hand to his mouth as he thought.

“Hm. Alright, then shall I read to you?”

“You want to… what?”

“Well, I’m certain I could do a better job than the robot reader on your phone. Although, I am a bit of a robot myself, and I can make no promises.”

“No, that would be… nice, I think. I mean… I don’t want you to waste your time…”

“Roman. Have I not already explained that this is better than working with Virgil? If that is not a waste of my time, than this is not either. However, I am not sitting on the edge of your bed for our reading. My back is beginning to strain, this is far too… cushiony to sit up straight for an extended period of time.” He pushed himself further onto the bed, leaning back against the forty pillows Roman had on his bed and patting next to him as he sunk down into them. It was honestly adorable as he continued to sink, half buried by the time he managed to speak in the most dignified manner he could. “Come on.”

Roman’s face was red as he crawled further on to sit next to Logan, who gave a smile, despite Roman slumping into him slightly. “Beyond satisfactory.”

And he began to read.

Logan’s voice when reading was smooth. It was expressive. When he spoke normally, it was with proper words, stiff. When he read, it was someone else’s words he was conveying. Someone else’s story. They were fluid, like ink across a paper.

Roman smiled contentedly as the story continued.

It would be a good night.

——  
Logan was acutely aware of the slight pressure of Roman leaning against his arm. It was… nice. It made him want more, and he had a sudden mild realization in the form of a question.

Was he touch-starved?

Touch was a need that he’d neglected his entire life. Normally, he did take care of himself. He usually made sure he was hydrated and ate properly, and attempted to make himself perfect by his own standards.

When it came to contact with other people, however, the only people he’d ever really come into contact with were his parents, and he hadn’t even seen them for a year. He’d never considered touch as a need, despite occasionally seeing an article on it...

Oh god, he was.

His speech faltered for a moment, and Roman looked up at him, moving the slight pressure away from his arm. His skin itched and his chest hurt. No, no, no. 

“Logan? Are you okay?”

Not at all. He couldn’t talk though. He didn’t know what he would say if he tried. Instead, he looked down at Roman with a hurt expression on his face, and Roman’s own features morphed into worry and concern. “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, you didn’t.” Logan answered truthfully, sighing. “I’m fairly certain it’s something I didn’t do.”

“What?” Roman tilted his head quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“I’m… just…” He shook his head, disappointed in how weak he was acting. “Can you just… lay down again.” Logan held his breath as Roman did so, confused. He sighed, the feeling in his chest only lessened slightly now that he was aware of it. “It’s… not enough.”

“Not enough of what?” Roman didn’t move, stiff as he made sure to stay in one position.

“I have been granted the wonderful realization that I may be touch-starved.” Logan spoke sarcastically, bitterly. 

“You’re… Ohhh.” Roman smiled in understanding, letting out a bit of a laugh which he cut off as he saw Logan’s expression. He was close to tears, and Roman sighed. “Hey, it’s alright! I get like that sometimes, too. You really don’t have to worry about it.”

“But… it hurts.” Logan sniffed, and Roman couldn’t tell if it was just because he was actually hurting over it or being mildly stubborn. Probably both. There was silence for a moment before Roman moved forward, wrapping his arms around Logan.

“What are you…?!”

“Shhh. Just calm down and relax. I’ll hold onto you for as long as you need.”

The room settled into silence, and Roman could hear Logan’s heartbeat, feel his breathing as his arms moved with him. After a full minute, Logan finally relaxed into his hold, his own arms falling over Roman. He didn’t tell him to let go, simply holding him close as he relaxed more.

“Thank you.”

“Do you want me to let you go now?”

“No.” Logan answered a bit too quickly for his own liking. “I’m… my chest still hurts. I don’t want this to end.” 

It didn’t slip past Logan how selfish he was being.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“You like me in a romantic manner.” He looked away. “I’m only accentuating those feelings, aren’t I? I’m making things harder for you. I may be numb to feelings most of the time, but that doesn’t mean I’m completely incapable of understanding others’.” 

“It’s… alright.” Roman spoke softly, and Logan winced.

“It is not. Do not pretend to alright. If you do, it is only another falsehood. You know I hate it when you lie.” He looked away, almost unwilling to offer, but knowing he had to. "You… don’t have to... hold me, if you would rather not.” Roman didn’t move away for a long minute.

“I want to. I mean, I guess it hurts a little, and I shouldn’t, but…” He buried his head in Logan’s shirt, voice muffled and cracking slightly as he continued. “I don’t want this to end, either.”

Logan kept his arms loosely wrapped around Roman, book forgotten as he held him closer. This wasn’t good for either of them, not in the long-term, but… why were short-term effects so tantalizing?

He heard a noise, soft at first, but repeating. He couldn’t place it immediately, but as Roman’s back rose and fell, he attributed it to snoring and smiled. Roman was honestly adorable.

He froze.

Adorable. He found something adorable? Not just something, but someone. And not just someone, but Roman? He shook his head. No. Definitely not. Roman was… objectively cute. Objectively handsome. The way his hair fell over his forehead in a tuft, and how he was fully relaxed, enough to fall asleep. How he was warm, where Logan’s hands were freezing. How the circles under his eyes were even more pronounced than this morning, and Logan was helping him remove them.

Yes, he was adorable. Objectively. 

Logan sighed, moving a hand up to rub his temple. Was he fooling himself? Maybe he was criticizing Roman for his lies when he couldn’t even tell himself the truth. Maybe he liked Roman. Or maybe these were feelings brought on because he’d never dealt with them, nor dealt with another human who liked him enough to pursue him in the way Roman had.

It didn’t matter. He’d already looked over the facts, they were incompatible…

But Roman had said that wasn’t how love worked. It didn’t matter if they were compatible or not. And Logan had never been in a relationship. He was certain Roman knew more than he did on this particular subject, loathe as he was to admit it…

Logan didn’t understand. He wanted to shake Roman awake and demand answers, but…

He smiled looking at Roman’s face. He was so peaceful, so calm. Such a drastic difference from how he was awake. Always frustrated, or overly excited. This was a strange side Logan hadn’t seen yet. Guaranteed, it had only been two days, but still.

He moved his hand to remove his phone from his pocket, setting the alarm on his phone for tomorrow morning and pulling Roman further onto the bed, closer to him as he began to slip off. Logan leaned over, setting his glasses and phone on Roman’s nightstand before settling himself in.

There was a feeling of warmth and sunshine in his chest. He supposed it had to do with fulfilling his need for touch for the first time in over a year.

It didn’t take long for his own eyes to close, and as he looked down at Roman one more time, he leaned forward and kissed the adorable tuft of hair off of his head with a snort.

He was too relaxed to realize what he’d done, and later he would believe that it had been an unrealistic dream.

Roman however, eyes jolting open to glance at Logan in bewilderment, would remember it clearly for days to come.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moxiety happens. Logan wakes up in a semi-unfamiliar place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while-  
> I've had the next like six chapters written for forever I just never have time to post them but oh boy-  
> It is a work in progress!!

Virgil glanced at the cooking directions with a slight glare.

He threw together ingredients he knew didn’t belong in the batch with very rare glances at the actual ingredients the dish was meant to have.

It called for red peppers… mushrooms… fish…

He made a face, keeping the peppers, replacing the mushrooms with tomatoes,  
and adding chicken. “I am n o t making a dish of fish…” He muttered to himself. His food would turn out however it turned out, but he knew he would judge it badly if it were fish. Not because it would be a bad dish, but because fish was disgusting to him and he refused to even try it. Which would suck, because half the grade was honestly answering whether you liked it or not. Can’t get that half if he can’t try it without throwing up.

He heard a scream and maniacal laughter from across the room. He didn’t need to look up for a bright smile to cross his face, which he quickly tried to disguise with a cough as he peered over.

Patton, in a grade above him, had managed to start the fish on fire. Far from trying to put the fire out, like the other students in that half of the room, two of which had fire extinguishers, Patton was flipping the fish happily with a giggle. “Don’t worry, kiddos! It’s all under control. I just wanted it to cook faster! It’ll be done in…” -He glanced at the stopwatch to his left- “Ten seconds!”

The other children continued screaming as the flame mounted higher to the ceiling, and neither of the extinguishers seemed to be functioning. Virgil sighed. The teacher must have forgotten to ask for replacements from last time.

He walked over with his hands in his hoodie pockets, pulling out a mini-extinguisher he kept on him and spraying it at the fire as the stopwatch shrilly screamed that the dish was complete. Virgil tilted his head at the blackened mess that Patton pulled off of the stove. Patton himself squinted at it, cutting a piece off and putting it on a plate. Even the inside was charcoal. He grabbed a fork, shoving it in his mouth. After a moment of Patton chewing, his eyes watered and he swallowed. “I… may need a bit of work on this particular dish! Anybody else want to try it…?” He waved another forkful, and the students flinched at the offer, pretending that they still had their own dishes to make. Virgil only shrugged.

“I’ll have some.” Patton’s bright smile melted his heart, and he decided that if he threw up it would be well worth it. He was handed the fork, and he looked at it before taking the bite calmly. It tasted like ash. “I like it. I can’t eat fish normally, but yours tastes fine.” He smiled, only slightly forcefully. At least he knew he wouldn’t throw up Patton’s cooking.

Patton’s eyes widened, and Virgil swore he saw tears at their edges as his hands moved to his mouth. “R-really? It’s… not terrible?”

“Nah. Not at all.”

And, yep, those were tears. Patton gave him a tight hug, and Virgil could not breathe for a good five seconds afterwards, almost missing Patton’s ‘thank you’. “I’m gonna keep getting better! You’re always so nice and encouraging! I can’t give up when there’s someone like you in the world!” His smile was the epitome of sunshine, and Virgil could practically see the stars in his eyes.

‘Likewise,’ Virgil almost replied, but managed to keep his mouth shut. The timer went off on his phone, and he glanced at it. “I gotta get back to my own food now, sorry.”

“No problem! I’m done with mine! Can I see yours??” Patton tilted his head in the cutest way, and Virgil knew he could never say no to those puppy-dog eyes.

“Yeah. Sure.” His voice cracked only slightly as he made his way over to his food, pulling it off of the stove. He should have really been pushing it around on the pan, but Patton was far more important. The ingredients didn’t look burnt anyway, and he cut open the chicken to put a piece on a separate plate. A delicious smell filled the air, and other kids around them gathered to see what it was.

Patton looked at the piece Virgil offered him in confusion. “Chicken? I thought it was fish.”

An embarrassed blush spread across Virgil’s face, and he scratched the back of his head, voice soft. “I can’t eat fish. If I made a fish, I would fail. Even with a different dish, I can at least get 75%.”

Patton didn’t criticize, only nodding in understanding as he put the chicken into his mouth. His eyes widened at the flavor. “Virgil, this is delicious! Why haven’t I tried your cooking before?!”

Virgil had, by now, eaten his own piece of chicken and cringed. “Not really… it needs something else. Cinnamon? I don’t know, but it’s not sweet enough. Maybe pepper…” His gaze fell across the seasonings in front of him as he frowned. Patton put his hands on his hips.

“Virgil… mine looked and tasted like a witch in Salem. If you keep talking bad about your cooking I will physically fight you.”

“Please don’t.” But he smiled regardless, leaning back from the counter.

“Hey Virgil… can I have some?” A girl spoke, looking up from behind him. Virgil just glared.

“No. You have cooking to finish, remember?”

“I’m… done now.”

“Really? But you weren’t done two minutes ago? Along with everyone else here?”

She frowned, and Patton spoke. “Virgil, don’t be rude. I mean, even if I wasn’t actually the first one done, who would really want to eat a lump of coal anyway?” He laughed, but the smile behind it wasn’t genuine.

Virgil did soften his gaze at that, but instead of giving the girl any of his chicken, he cut off a portion for the teacher, putting the rest in a box and handing it to Patton. “Here. I’m not gonna eat it, it’s not sweet enough, but I’m also not giving it to any liars.” He spoke with daggers laced into his words. “You can give it to them if you want. It’s your choice what you do with it.” Even as he said so, he knew Patton wouldn’t be eating anymore, in favor of giving it to the others.

His eyes were bright again though, and that was all Virgil wanted. “Thank you! I’ll make sure to give it out equally!”

And Virgil had no doubt that he would.  
——  
Logan woke up to his alarm, dazed and confused.

It took a glance down for him to remember what had happened.

He reached for his glasses and alarm to turn it off, which became increasingly difficult as Roman snuggled further into his chest, mumbling something about cats not making honey.

Logan wanted to wake him up, but at the same time…

He was still touch-starved.

His head shook aggressively. How long would it take for this feeling to stop? His chest was warm right now, fulfilled, but he knew that when Roman moved away it would turn cold, and he would crave for that warmth again. He almost wished he could just spend time with Roman all day, but that was illogical.

And… very similar to dating. But no. They were friends.

As he sat back again, he wondered on the validity of that statement.

Roman liked him as more than a friend. Logan had the idea that he might, as well, return the feelings. But… they were still friends. New friends. Unless Logan said otherwise, they would always only be friends.

The thought sent pain lacing through his chest, and he patted it, confused. He was near Roman, so why…? Did he want to be closer… emotionally, after all? …No. No, he didn’t even know Roman. How could he want things like… dates, and kissing, if he were to guess by his dream last night. Besides, he’d already told Roman no. He’d already given him rejection. Logan was playing with his feelings. He knew it, and he hated it. But… how to stop?

He could just confess.

His face turned fully red as he looked down at Roman. It was… pointless to dodge around these feelings, wasn’t it?

Feelings. He wasn’t an emotional person.

Why did Roman bring out parts in him that he didn’t even know existed.

He stared off into space for another moment before making up his mind. There was no need to say anything. He had dug himself into a hole figuratively already. He didn’t want to hurt Roman again by confessing feelings he hadn’t had yesterday, feelings that may be a figment of his own imagination. Logan had a lack of information. Which was… an entirely new feeling. Where did he even start with feelings? He needed someone else to talk with them about. But… Virgil was his only companion, the only one he ever talked to. And he didn’t talk with Virgil, he only assisted him with his homework.

Maybe he would make an attempt later. For now…

He looked down at the lump in his arms again.

It would be acceptable to let him rest. All he did in the morning was read anyway, and his book…

An arm reached out to grab it, flipping open to his memorized page and beginning to read as his right arm continued to rest on Roman’s back. This would be satisfactory.

A few pages had been flipped through one-handed before he considered Roman again with a frown.

Should he… keep reading?

Roman had stayed up all night simply to catch up with Logan. Could he trust him to take care of himself if Logan ended up another two hundred pages ahead of him? That was what he’d intended to avoid coming here last night, and although he had managed to secure a good rest for Roman tonight, he had ended up focusing more on himself by the end, and they hadn’t gotten much reading done at all.

He put the book down, running the hand instead through Roman’s hair. It was soft. It felt like the fur of a puppy, and Logan smiled, but quickly wiped it off when Roman stirred.

“What… you… Oh.” Roman’s face turned red. His eyes narrowed at Logan suspiciously, but he didn’t let go, for which Logan was grateful. Instead, he opened and closed his mouth several times, as if he wanted to ask Logan about something. “Do you… I mean, last night, you…”

“Hm?”

“No… nothing. It’s fine.” Roman shook his head. He couldn’t think of an easy way to ask about the kiss. It had kept him up for almost an hour more, not daring to move. He’d ask later, when he’d collected his thoughts on that particular part of the night.

He only then realized he was still holding onto Logan, and tried to pull away awkwardly, but Logan grabbed at his sleeve with his free hand, grip too tight to pry off.

“Please don’t leave.”

The words and pleading expression slipped out without Logan’s consent, and he cursed himself inwardly as he turned red.

“I mean… I…”

So that was it. “Are you getting feelings for me, Logan?” Roman tilted his head with a knowing smirk, half-meaning the question as a joke, but the way Logan spluttered indignantly, only turning more red, seemed to confirm the idea.

“I- I’ve told you already! My feelings… of which I have NONE, do not matter!” His hands shook, and he reluctantly pried his own fingers off of Roman’s sleeve, putting his book down in favor of clasping them together in front of him. “Feelings are illogical. They help you to know your needs. I am already aware of my objective needs. I have no use for emotions.”

“In that case, what do you need right now? …Objectively.” Roman raised a brow.

Logan looked up, expression half-filled with hope at the idea that Roman finally understood. “I-I need…” He looked down at his hands, trying to decide. “I need… for you to hold me. Or for me to hold you. I don’t know. I don’t like not knowing.”

“If you don’t know your needs, than don’t you need your emotions?”

Logan’s eyes widened, and he looked up at Roman in awe. “You’re right. Emotions tell me what I need. If I don’t know, objectively, than they’re the only thing I can listen to, right?”

“Right.” Roman smiled, crawling closer to Logan again. “And with that other part-“ he scooped Logan up awkwardly, putting him down in his lap and holding him bridal style. “-I have no problems holding you. Didn’t I already say this?"

Logan was red in his arms, and he put his hands on his cheeks to calm himself down. Cold hands. He did this when he had a fever, but he never thought he’d use his poor circulation to remove heat inspired by someone else.

After a long moment of silence, Logan spoke. “Alright… say that I did, hypothetically, have feelings for you. Where would a relationship even start…?” Logan sighed, twiddling his thumbs as he curled reluctantly closer to Roman.

“You’ve really… never dated anyone before, have you?”

“No. I’ve never considered love to be a need.”

“Well…” Roman thought for a moment, his fingers running along Logan’s arm and making him shiver at their warmth. “It depends on who you are. You could date anyone, honestly. I don’t consider dating to be an important part. It may not contain any actual feelings towards each other. You could date somebody just to get to know them better. Not everybody agrees with me on that one, though.” He chuckled nervously.

“But how does that… basically… commence?”

“Well, you just ask the other person to go somewhere with you. Someplace you’ll enjoy, or someplace you know they’ll enjoy.”

“…Hey, Roman.”

“Yeah?”

“Does my reading every night to you count as a date?”

“Do you want it to count as a date?”

Logan squirmed a bit, because it suddenly felt a little bit hotter and Roman was looking down on him in such an endearing way, but-

“No. I do not.” He pushed himself off of Roman, ignoring the mildly hurt look in his eyes, as well as the whining in his heart from losing the contact, and it hurt, so m u c h , but…

He would not let his emotions control him.

“I will return tonight to read to you again. I would rather you not run yourself ragged in an attempt to catch up with my own reading, so I will also read nothing today. How I will fill my day is undecided as of yet, but I will put the health of my friend,” -he paused for unnecessary emphasis- “above my preference to read.”

He looked over his shoulder at Roman, whose expression was still heartbroken as Logan continued. “Good-bye.”

And he left, letting out a sigh when he was outside the door, but shaking it off and continuing on his way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Logan meet. They talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I'll tell you when I'm past the stuff I wrote a year ago and never posted-

Patton loved everybody.

He loved the people who wouldn’t try his food in culinary class. He loved the acquaintances he said hello to randomly. He loved his teachers, and classmate, and parents.

But he loved one person above them all.

The boy in his culinary arts class, Virgil. The one who wore hoodies every day. Whose laundry day was Friday, surmised by the fact that it was the only day of the week that he didn’t wear his purple and black hoodie. The boy who could make a dish worthy of kings out of two ingredients and a piece of wood.

Patton could go on for hours.

He was thoughtful, kind. He tried not to let it show, but he really cared for others. He watched, closely, for any signs that somebody was uncomfortable in any situation, and he subtly tried to direct the attention away from them if they were.

But Virgil didn’t even know him.

Well, that wasn’t true. Virgil did know him. He would talk to him in class, and he was always nice, but… Patton could only assume he was like that with everyone. 

Patton just wished he could find a way to get closer to the other. 

He sighed, head down as he walked to his room. Normally he would greet everybody in the halls happily, but… he wasn’t feeling like himself today.

He turned a corner, and his nose went straight into somebody’s chest, bringing tears to his eyes at the sudden pain. “S-sorry,” he spoke, looking up at the ‘somebody.’ His eyes widened. “Oh. Hi Logan.”

Logan didn’t respond, looking at him quizzically. There was an emotion in his eyes that Patton wasn’t used to, and he could only attribute it to a sort of numb sadness. His heart immediately ached for the other without even knowing what he’d gone through.

“Sorry, do I know you?” Logan finally spoke, and Patton let out a noise like an ‘eep!’. He blushed, shaking his head.

“N-no. You occasionally come to pick up Virgil, right?” As if he wasn’t sure.

“Yes. Virgil. That is correct.” Logan seemed distant, and Patton tilted his head at him.

“Are you okay? You seem a bit… off.”

“Off? In what way?”

“I dunno. Just… sad, I guess. Are you missing something? Or someone?” Patton peered into his eyes to see a flicker. So that was it. “I gotcha. Kinda feeling the same. Do you wanna come over to my place? We can eat ice cream and watch a good cartoon. Or… whatever you like to do? I dunno.” He shrugged, rubbing an arm nervously at how much he was talking.

Logan’s eyes narrowed at him. “Are you… isn’t that a date?”

Patton flushed a bright red and furrowed his brows at the idea. “What?! Of course not! Dates are with someone you like, who likes you back! I mean… not that I don’t like you, but it’s a different kind of like.”

Logan sighed heavily, wiping his hands down his face. “Now I’m even more confused.”

“… Do you have somewhere to be?”

There was a pause as Logan thought. “Only the library. I just wanted to get away from someone.”

“Then… come with me. I’m used to hearing about people’s problems. You can vent, if you want. Or just sit in silence. Some people prefer that.” Patton led the way, stopping after a few steps to smile back at Logan. “C’mon. My room’s this way.”

Logan frowned. This… might be what he’d been looking for. Advice that wasn’t from Virgil, that could pertain to… anything Logan was feeling, without losing any of the reputation he’d built up. Just as long as it was kept in confidentiality. However, considering this man had been told many peoples’ secrets, Logan didn’t think that would be something to worry about.

He ran up to the others’ side and followed. “And what would your name be?”

Patton stopped in place, hands coming up to cover his mouth. “Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry. I’m not feeling like myself today at all. My name is Patton! I’m in Virgil’s culinary class.” He stuck out a hand, and Logan shook it. Somehow, the name sounded familiar…

Ah, Virgil had mentioned him a couple of times. Logan had always disregarded his statements, however. They were meant to be doing homework, but Virgil got a dreamy look in his eyes and began gushing about the guy in his culinary class. Logan always had to steer him back on track. He wondered now if he had unintentionally stifled Virgil’s desire to talk in a normal way.

With a normal person.

It was fine. Virgil knew the kind of person Logan was. At the very least, he wouldn’t have been surprised.

Logan sighed. That was something he couldn’t talk to Patton about.

“Hey… we’re almost to my room. You can hold on just a bit longer, right kiddo?” Logan gave Patton a sick look of disgust, and Patton couldn’t contain a laugh. “Right, won’t call you that again. We’re here!” He opened his door with a bounce in his step, flicking on the light and going straight to the freezer. “Make yourself at home!”

Logan entered the room and looked into it with awe. Patton had accurate star maps drawn on his ceiling. The walls were made up of blue sky, each wall showing a different season, fading into each other perfectly. The floor was the softest looking carpet Logan had ever seen in his life, and he took off his shoes, murmuring an apology, which Patton simply smiled at.

“What’s your favorite kind of ice cream?”

“…Mint chip.” Logan stated, already certain that Patton didn’t have it. It was to his surprise, then, that Patton came in with the ice cream scooped into a bowl, instead of asking if he had a second favorite. Logan’s eyes filled with stars at the sight of it. He hadn’t bought himself mint chip ice cream in half a year. He allowed Patton to push him to the couch, which he assumed pulled out into a bed for the other, and Patton sat next to him. 

“Do you wanna talk? Or would you rather just forget your worries for now? You can talk later, if you want.” Patton didn’t pry, leaving him open to doing whatever he wanted.

“I… think I want to talk.”

Patton sat patiently as Logan collected his thoughts.

“Do you know Roman?”

“Who doesn’t? I listen to his own worries occasionally.”

Logan felt a strike of fear at that, risking a glance to Patton to see if he could tell if Roman had ever talked about him. There was no other hint of recognition on his face, however, and Logan deemed it safe to continue.

“Well… Ugh. I don’t even know how to begin.” He rested his head in a hand, and Patton rubbed his arm.

“Just rant. I’m only here to listen. You don’t have to make your thoughts super coherent, I’ll get the gist either way. Don’t stress about making it perfect.” Logan sighed, realizing that that was exactly what he was trying to do.

“I’ve never… felt. I mean, I have, but… I don’t… get, emotions. And I’ve always been on my own, other than Virgil, my companion. Then Roman came to me two days ago. He- He told me he liked me.” He scooped ice cream into his mouth to calm down. Patton’s expression was slightly shocked. “I- I don’t know what to do. Because, it’s illogical. Feelings don’t make sense. And we wouldn’t work together, we’re almost direct opposites, but he’s adorable, and he’s making a big effort for me to like him back, and I think-“ His voice cracked. “I think I already do. And I don’t know how to deal with this information, because I’ve never liked anyone, not in this way, and I just…” He put the ice cream to the side, head in both of his hands. “I don’t know… what to do.”

Patton didn’t speak as he processed the information.

First, Roman was in love with Logan. He felt a bit of sadness for the people he’d encouraged to at least ask Roman if he was interested. 

Second, Logan returned the feelings, but didn’t… want to?

“Is your only worry that you’ve never been in this situation before? And that you think you wouldn’t work out, as opposites?” Patton asked softly.

“No… I mean, perhaps.”

“Can I offer advice?” Logan nodded. "…I think you should do it.”

“Do… what?”

“Date him. You’re very… objective, a lot of the time, Logan. But… sometimes, that’s not what you need. You also have to think about what you want. You’ll end up living a very sad life if you don’t.” Patton smiled sadly. “You want to date him. You like him. Just… throw yourself into it. If he’s been making an effort like you said, and you haven’t even said yes yet, than you know he’ll put effort into continuing the relationship when you’re in it.”

“But… I already said no.” Logan sighed. “If I say yes now, won’t I only end up hurting him more…? I don’t want to do that. The idea of hurting him, hurts me. Even though that makes no sense whatsoever.”

“But does he still like you?”

“…Yes.”

“Then he’ll be overjoyed at you saying yes. Better late than never! He’s still making an effort to be with you, so he obviously would still be happy if you decided… that you also want to be with him.” Patton smiled genuinely for the first time all day.

“… Patton?”

“Yes?”

“Who was bothering you?”

“That’s… uh… private?”

Logan’s expression formed into a blank glare. “I just spoke metaphorical tons of my own private information to you. If I am trusting you to keep my secrets, I do not understand why you should not trust me."

“That’s not it! It’s just… Who it is.”

Logan raised a brow. “Unless it is me, which is highly unlikely, there is no reason to not say. Unless it IS me, in which case, I will know now, because that will be the only name you do not say. Or you’ll say it’s somebody different, in which case, I will be led astray.” Logan took a bite of ice cream. “Continue.”

“...V-Virgil. It’s Virgil.” It brought butterflies to Patton’s stomach to even say his name.

“Aah. I understand why you did not wish to say now.” Logan took another bite before his face morphed into confusion. “May I ask why?”

“I-I dunno. He’s so nice. All the time. I dunno.” Logan snorted, a bit of ice cream going onto the carpet, which he stared at for a long moment, a betrayed expression on his face as his gaze shifted from his bowl to the carpet.

“I think you are under some kind of misconception. Virgil is not ‘kind,’ all of the time.” Logan leaned down, putting his bowl on the couch before running his fingers through the spot in the carpet over and over again to clean it.

“I’ve never seen him anything but.”

“That’s because he likes you.” Logan’s own heart stopped. “Oh. That’s not something I’m meant to say, am I?” He murmured quietly. “Please disregard that statement.”

Patton was squealing, however, and Logan’s speech was drown out. “What do you mean he likes me?!” He jumped to the floor, unable to contain his excitement as he hopped in one place.

“Well… he has tried to talk about you in the past. I’ve never really… paid attention. But I am certain that he has feelings for you. And… this really isn’t something I should say. Oh my… Patton, do you think Virgil considers me a friend?”

“Of course he does!”

“That was what I feared. So… that was a friendship confide. That was a secret between friends. Oh my. I have told a secret. I didn’t know it was a secret.” Logan ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. “Patton, what do I do?! You aren’t supposed to tell a friend’s secrets! I’ve always thought we were only companions! Not friends! Virgil thinks of me as a friend oh god-“ One hand fell down to his mouth.

Patton leaned down in an attempt to calm Logan, but it was made difficult by the fact that he was still overly excited at the information Logan had revealed. He rubbed at Logan’s back more aggressively than he normally would.

“You can’t tell him.” Logan spoke with a worried cough.

“I can’t… why not?” Patton’s face fell.

“I mean- at least- you can’t tell him I told you anything, I don’t want him to hate me! I only just realized we were friends. I don’t want to lose the only friend I’ve ever known I’ve made!” Logan’s expression was desperate, and he grabbed at Patton’s shoulders. “He’ll hate me if he knows I told you!”

Patton’s expression morphed into confusion as he pulled Logan’s hands off of his shoulders. “Logan… he won’t hate you…”

“You don’t KNOW that! I don’t understand emotions, Patton, but this is the kind of thing that creates the villains in my books!” He sat back, letting Patton hold his hands from the ground. “W-what it he does? What would I do? He’s never talked to me about… anyone before. What if you’re the first crush he’s ever had…? And I told you before he had the chance!”

An understanding look passed across Patton’s features, and he sat down next to Logan, thoughtful.

“Then… I can… wait?” Patton glanced at Logan tentatively. “But… If I do… I want you to try and convince Virgil to confess. I don’t want to… wait forever, if he never plans to.” He hugged his knees to his chest, playing with his feet.

“That is… acceptable.” Logan sighed. “I am planning… to attempt to convince my… my friend, to confess to you. Meanwhile, I don’t even know if I have the courage to confess to the man I already know likes me in return.” He looked to Patton in bewilderment. “Is all love this hard?”

“I’ve never experienced anything easy!”

“That does not bode well.”

“It’s fine! Don’t worry about it!”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” 

They sat in silence for a while before Logan spoke again.

“So… you said something about cartoons earlier?”

Patton’s expression brightened, and he turned on his TV. “There’s a lot of really cool ones that I’m sure you’d like! Hmm… it’s not my favorite, but there’s this one called ‘Rick and Morty’ we can watch until you have to go…?”

Logan smiled genuinely, pulling himself up onto the couch and settling in with a heavy sigh. “That sounds… delightful."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil talk, Logan confesses, and that is all. Obviously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> =)

Roman sighed and kicked a rock, wincing as it hurt more than expected. He’d been so distracted with his thoughts of Logan that his football coach had told him to go home, and he forgot almost all of his lines, ending up reciting ‘Romeo and Juliet’ instead of ‘Macbeth.’ He didn’t mean to, but he couldn’t control where his heart lay.

With… Logan.

The worst part was that his thoughts cleared up nothing. He could not, for the life of him, understand Logan’s actions.

He’d kissed him. Roman was certain. He knew he wouldn’t imagine something like that.

But… he didn’t like him. Or he did? Logan wasn’t a liar. He always tried to be the most honest he could be, and Roman admired that about him, but…

Saying he had no feelings? It was absurd. 

Even if he meant he didn’t have feelings for Roman, which would be acceptable… mildly. His heart hurt to even think about it, but he knew he could recover if Logan simply declined him.

But this back and forth was putting Roman on edge, and he didn’t know what to think anymore. He added up the facts, as Logan would do, and none of it made sense!

He said he had no feelings, but gave Roman a kiss. He cared enough to help Roman read, but still insisted upon it. He cuddled and SLEPT with Roman, he BLUSHED at Roman’s comments, and YET-

He said he did not have feelings.

Roman felt tears prick at his eyes, and he tilted his head back, stopping from the walk that had turned brisk in an attempt to keep them from falling. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Calm down, you’re fine. Don’t think about it.” His head fell again, and he put a hand up to wipe at the thick tears. “Why can’t you just deny me clearly? Why do you have to make it complicated, you nerd?” He let out a gasping sob before covering a hand over his mouth to silence himself. 

He heard footsteps and quickly wiped his eyes clean, forcing a confident smile on his face. His eyes were puffy, but he knew no one would comment about it.

Nobody cares enough, a small voice whispered. He shut it down, looking up at the one who had begun to approach.

“Oh, Virgil. Hello.” He smiled as brightly as he could manage.

The other tilted his head and opened his mouth, searching for the right words as his gaze searched Roman’s face. After a moment, he sighed, grabbing Roman’s hand and dragging him away. “Come on.”

“Wha-What are you-?”

“Stop pretending. It’s easy to see through the act.” Virgil didn’t even turn around as he spoke, his voice sad and dark as he continued to drag Roman by the hand along behind him. Roman felt his heart drop at the words, and his chest grew tight again. His eyes fell to the ground.

“You can’t just…” He coughed. “Just… bluntly, like that… it’s not fair…” He whined, and Virgil stopped as tears overwhelmed his vision again. He let Virgil hold his hand loosely as his other shot up to wipe the tears away again. He began sobbing openly, loudly, and Virgil’s other hand ran through his hair and helped him wipe his face dry before pulling him into a hug and letting Roman cry into his chest.

“Breathe in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. It’ll be okay. You’re still here, you’re still standing.” Virgil continued to murmur assurances as Roman tried to calm himself. He knew other people were passing them and giving looks. He knew he was ruining his perfect image. Brave, selfless Roman. Rumors would spread by morning of how weak he actually was. He only sobbed harder.

After a few minutes, Virgil leaned in to his ear and spoke soothingly to him. “I’m going to pick you up and carry you to my room, is that alright?” Roman hesitated only a moment before nodding, and Virgil lifted him like an infant, holding him close as Roman kept his face buried in Virgil’s shoulder. There was a slight feeling of surprise at the others’ strength-Roman may have been short, but he was still mostly muscle- but he couldn’t comment on it through his trembling.

They reached Virgil’s room in little time, and he tapped his door open silently. Roman wrapped his legs around Virgil and didn’t move, even as Virgil closed his door and sat on his bed. He pet Roman’s head and hushed him softly. At this point, Roman was dry crying. His shoulders shook, but he made no sounds and no more tears exited his eyes. Virgil ran his other hand over his back soothingly.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I-It wasn’t-even a-anything. I don’t-wanna-wanna talk.”

“…Okay. How about a guessing game.”

Roman paused before nodding. He felt like a child, but… it was nice, to feel pampered.

“Has it something to do with Logan?”

Roman’s shoulders hunched and he nodded, hands clenching onto the others’ hoodie.

“…Rejection?”

He bobbed his head from side to side, not quite nodding, but not shaking it either.

“Kinda. Hmm. You’re not making this easy for me, you know.” Virgil chuckled softly, but he didn’t loosen his grip on Roman.

“I just don’t… get it.” Roman spoke quietly, still breathing deeply. Virgil smiled, tilting his head, silently urging Roman to continue.

“H-he says he doesn’t like me. I’d b-e fine with that, b-but, then he a-acts like he does.” He sniffed loudly. “I don’t get it.”

Virgil sighed as he looked over the mess in his arms. “He’s a confusing one. I’ve been with him basically all his life, but I still don’t get him.” Roman nodded.

“W-what if he’s right?” Roman spoke, insecurities flooding out. “He says we wouldn’t make a match. What i-if I should just- g-give up. M-maybe I should just i-ignore my feelings, l-like he d-does.” Roman shook his head, trying to get rid of the stutter in his voice.

“No.” Virgil said firmly. Roman looked up at him in confusion. He averted his gaze. “Avoiding what you’re feeling is only gonna cause you future problems. It’s not worth it, I promise you. You should always be honest about what you feel, and what you know. I hate liars.”

Roman’s shoulders melted downward as he gazed at the other. “Logan says the same thing.”

There was a long pause where Virgil’s eyes met Roman’s again, and suddenly Roman’s hands were in Virgil’s hair and he was kissing him. Virgil’s arms tightened around his waist for a millisecond before he moved them to push gently at Roman’s chest, disconnecting them. They were both panting lightly, and Roman tried to lean in again, but Virgil shook his head, putting a finger to the others’ lips, effectively stopping him until Roman grasped at the hand holding him back to speak.

“If I’m actually honest, if you want me to be so, I’m- I think I’m beginning to love you as well.” Roman whispered sincerely. “And if I have no compatibility with Logan, being with you- it seems- I wouldn’t be against it." The words couldn’t even begin to explain the conflict in his heart over the realization.

“And if I’m honest, I have somebody that I love more right now.” Virgil looked down at Roman, torn, and his dark eyes only drew him in more. “I don’t want to hurt you by loving them, rather than you.” I’m not worth someone like you, he added silently. He wasn’t nearly good enough for the most popular boy in his grade, possibly in his school. 

Now he understood how Logan felt about incompatibility. 

Roman’s face and shoulders fell, and his head thunked into Virgil’s shoulder. There was another moment of silence before he spoke again. “What is it about me that’s so unlovable?”

The taller tried not to start or pull away. “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t love me. You don’t love me. I thought… I thought I kept my appearance up well. I thought I was seen as selfless, and brave, and perfect, so why…” When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes once more. “Why can’t I find love? What am I missing? There must be something-something! Am I not trying hard enough? Am I not handsome enough? Am I not skilled enough? I just want to fix the broken part of me, but I can’t even figure out what’s broken!”

He was cut off as Virgil leaned in and kissed him again, shocking him into silence. Virgil pulled away to place his forehead against the other's worriedly, eyes filled with concern at these thoughts that were finally given a voice. “You are perfect, Roman. I don’t want you to change, and neither does Logan, I promise you. I didn’t-didn’t say that I didn’t LIKE you, I just… love somebody else…more...” He coughed uncomfortably, flushed as Roman’s eyes widened.

“You mean… you…?”

It was a strange sight, to see Virgil blush. Roman was quickly learning that with the taller, it was either at zero or one hundred, and that was certainly true for his currently flushed face.

“I-I-I…” He coughed again, shaking his head roughly as if he could throw the stutter out. He laughed. “God, my heart is pounding. I think you should go talk to Logan. We both… we both have someone else to be with, and this can’t happen.” The intense stare directed downward at Roman had him captivated. “You do understand that, right?”

Roman swallowed thickly before nodding, much to Virgil’s relief. “Yeah. I get it.”

He didn’t move for a moment, looking down at his hands clenched to Virgil’s hoodie with a conflicted expression. “Could you kiss me one more time? The last time.”

A smile from the dark one, so bittersweet and wistful. “Of course, Princey.” A hand drawn to Roman’s chin, cupping it as their lips pressed together. Different than the other two, laced with desperation, this kiss was built to last. Pushing the years they wouldn’t have together into a single moment. It was sweet and soft, and everything the two didn’t know they wanted. Flowers in a field of snow, icicles shimmering in the sunshine, freezing flakes on a bright summer day.

When they finally pulled away, both were breathless, eyes glazed and sad. More tears were welling in Roman’s, and Virgil reached his hand to wipe them away before they could fall. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. You have a prince of your own to save from himself."

“No offense, but I think you made me feel worse than I felt when you brought me here.” Roman chuckled bitterly.

“Yeah, I tend to do that. If you’d wanted actual comfort, you could have gone to Patton.” He spoke with a dreamy smile that Roman couldn’t ignore.

“Is he the one you…?”

Virgil looked away, but it was answer enough paired with the return of that beautiful blush. 

Arms and legs both tired and heavy, Roman pushed himself away from Virgil to walk over to the door. He turned to take one last glance at the other, shaking his head and leaving.

Logan would be arriving soon, if he wasn’t already there.

He fixed his hair, trying to look presentable, and pulled out a small pouch of makeup, dabbing it around his eyes so they didn’t look so pink. 

It was, luckily, the moment he had finished when Logan turned the corner in front of him, and he gave the other a bright smile while he unlocked his door.

“How was your day, my wonderful little time teller?”

“…Time teller…? Uh- I mean... It was… nice.” He smiled softly, a blush on his cheeks, and Roman’s heart skipped a beat. “I missed my class, however, which is not ideal.”

Roman spluttered, dropping his keys and whirling around. “You?! Missed… class!” He looked around himself and upward, as if the sky and ceiling could fall at any minute. “Why?!”

“It isn’t as if I have any need to attend anyway. I would get straight A’s if I never showed up to class once. Even in classes with required attendance. Teachers love me that much. I had somewhere else I wanted to be.” The blush on his face intensified, and Roman’s gaze narrowed. It couldn’t be… he wouldn’t…

“Are you seeing someone?” He blurted, more than a little hurt.

“Am… No, of course not.” The words sent such a large wave of relief that Roman almost fell over. 

For Logan, the idea of dating Patton… well, he couldn’t say he was completely against it. The other was excitable and open, and would probably compliment Logan’s own personality perfectly, if not for his dimness. He was easy to talk to, and considering Logan’s lack of social skills and inability to communicate his own feelings…

He physically shook his head. Logan was just about to confess to Roman, wasn’t he? He had to tell Roman, had to get across the thoughts Patton had helped him make clear. “In fact, I-“ He stopped suddenly, but his mouth kept moving for a second longer. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “I… loooooove…”

It was much harder to confess than simulations would lead him to believe.

A deep, shaky breath left his throat. If he wasn’t capable, was it a strange way of his body telling him he wasn’t ready for it? He wasn’t ready to be with someone. But that thought hurt far more than he would like it to. He had to say it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think- “Roman. I d-didn’t…” His eyes squeezed shut. Just get it out. “I apologize for not returning your feelings, at first, or perhaps it’s for lying? Perhaps I have this entire time. Point being made bluntly, I- I have grown increasingly attracted to you, and maybe it’s simply because I wrote you off as ‘far too good for me,’ but. When it regards my own…’feelings.’” He cringed. “I believe- I mean, I think… I just- I love you as well Roman. I wasn’t capable of doing so before I considered it, however I now see the feelings I have for you don’t… depend upon logic, and facts. That is… that is how it works, correct? So. Yes, Roman. I love you in return."

He was silent.

After a moment, Logan began fidgeting. Had he made a mistake? An error in calculation? Roman’s face was blank. It didn’t convey any of his thoughts. Logan had taken for granted Roman’s openness, how he could be read so easily. This stark difference...

It was terrifying.

“No.”

He- “I- you- what?” He couldn’t have heard that right, could he? No, what? Was Roman- he couldn’t actually-

“I refuse to be with you.”

His face was so empty, devoid of emotion. Their roles were swapped, and Logan felt so frustratingly vulnerable.

“But-you can’t-“ He swallowed at the realization that yes, he very well could. “Why? Why would you-“ Realization hit him and he frowned, betrayal etched into his features. “You dragged me along, didn’t you? This was all some practical joke.”

No response.

“That’s it, isn’t it? Somebody dared you- or you simply thought it would be hilarious. To see the nerd, the dweeb, the geek, the teacher’s pet-“ his words grew more passionate and he quieted himself. “-to see me- to make me fall for you, and rip it away. To make the robot feel emotions. It was a challenge. I was just a project, wasn’t I? For the most popular, most handsome boy. I was the only target who wouldn’t fall into step behind you.” He choked back tears, taking a shaky breath inward. He would not cry. Logan was dignified, strong- a ROBOT. He stood tall, staring Roman down. “Congratulations. You may consider your hypothesis confirmed.”

He walked past him, brushing his side roughly as he did so and whispering with barely concealed rage masking the pain in his chest. “You really can make anyone fall for you, Roman Prince.”

And Roman was left alone in the hall.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan goes to Virgil for assistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things continue to get worse in fluff-ville as the city slowly dissolves into angst-  
> Sorry for this chapter being a bit late! I had a free day yesterday and did absolutely nothing for anybody so I really have no excuses other than my own laziness <3 . oh well! Here it is!
> 
> Warning for cursing and anxiety attacks! Also yelling/caps!! Stay safe, friends!

Logan’s feet only took him beyond the corner before his legs began shaking and the tears pushed even more insistently. He pushed them back again, standing tall to make up for it. His eyes stung, his throat hurt, his chest burned, and he felt ever so slightly nauseous- he now understood why they called it falling in love. This sinking sensation could have no other names.

Leaning shakily against the wall, he wrapped his arms around himself protectively. He wanted to talk to someone- with a jolt, he realized that the someone in his mind was his compan-

His friend. His best friend, Virgil. How strange it was, to use those terms.

But he’d passed Virgil’s room- if Roman were still dwelling over their conversation outside, it would be awkward to simply walk back up.

He waited a few moments, taking the time to soothe his own emotions.

Pulling out his phone slowly, he sent the other a text.

L: “...v? are you in your room.”

Only seconds later came the response.

V: “Yeah, something happen? The doors open”

L: “*door’s”

V: “*nerd”

Logan huffed out a silent laugh.

L: “i’ll be there in a moment.” 

L: “...thank you”

V: “Anytime, glasses”

Logan peered around the corner slowly, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw that Roman was no longer in his spot. He inched his way forward silently before slipping into the other’s room.

The door shut behind him, but his gaze didn’t leave the ground until he heard Virgil sigh. He could almost feel his gaze sweeping over him, taking him in, analyzing him-

Like a project.

He shook his head at the thought, instead raising his eyes to see Virgil sitting on his bed.

“Come here?” The other finally spoke softly.

Logan obeyed.

His arm was grasped lightly and he was pulled onto the bed, wrapped in a protective hug that buried his head in Virgil’s shoulder. He’d never given Virgil a hug before. He’d also never felt so protected. Arms laced themselves around his back comfortably, and he hesitated before putting his own around Virgil’s.

The tears he had pushed back twice now finally overwhelmed his vision.

He didn’t sob, he didn’t cry loudly. He only shook, mouth closed tightly. Breath came shakily as he dampened Virgil’s shirt. The other didn’t seem to mind, as he stroked Logan’s hair softly, but he couldn’t help but feel bad anyway.

They sat like that until Logan’s tears finally ended, his trembling turned to light occasional shivers. He couldn’t have placed a time for it, but he knew it had to have been half an hour, at the very least.

It was then that Virgil finally spoke, voice soft and gentle, rough in a relaxing way. Simply his voice made Logan let out a content sigh, sinking more into him.

“It must have taken a lot, for you to cry like that.” The invitation to explain was clear in his voice. After another moment of silence, he spoke again. “Was it Roman?”

“How did-“ Logan paused. “Never mind, it would have been fairly obvious, wouldn’t it?”

“He’s the only one who’s made you feel- anything, ever.” Virgil chuckled gently.

Logan laughed quietly with him until the room once again grew quiet. “He- I mean-“. He sighed shakily once more. “I told him- I told him that I’d decided to follow my feelings, and my feelings were- that I loved him. And he-“. Another pause, a downward glare. “He told me ‘no.’ He told me he didn’t want to be with me. What am I meant to do with that? He’s been pining after me for- who knows how long! And perhaps- perhaps it is my fault. If I’d only been more emotionally developed when he confessed originally, or when he’d flirted with me- but feelings are such silly things. I never considered them necessary before. Maybe I should have never considered them necessary in the first place.” An inward breath. He leaned forward into Virgil so his voice was muffled, so the other wouldn't heat as easily hear how it cracked. “It wouldn’t hurt nearly as much now.”

“Logan. It- it’s okay to feel, you know?”

“No, Virgil! I don’t know!” Logan pushed himself off of the other and fell onto the floor roughly. “I’ve never known! I’ve never tried to, I’ve never thought it was important- my FAMILY never thought it was important!”

“Lo-“ he cut himself off as Logan stood.

“I’ve always been told to play it safe. That I’d be happy if I studied, that one day it would all pay off- but I’m not a patient man, Virgil. And neglecting my emotions has left me in a state where acknowledging them only leaves me aching. It’s impossible for me to even begin to explain how painful that is, knowing I’ll never completely recover from that! So I don’t really know! Is that what you wished to hear? Perfect, robotic Logan, admitting that he doesn’t know something.” 

He finally paused, taking a long breath. “Perhaps it is okay for you to feel things, Virgil, and for the rest of the general population. However, I am an outlier, as harmful to my mental health as it is to admit that. It is not ‘okay’ for me to feel things. It never has been. I’ve avoided doing so for a reason.”

“Logan.” Virgil finally said firmly, and Logan lowered the hands he’d been waving in the air. “I- I cant offer you advice on Roman. I have no idea why he said no.”

“Is it not obvious? I was nothing but a project to him.” Logan spat out bitterly. “The only one who didn’t love him already. He thought I would be humorous to break.”

“Roman thinks the world of you.” Virgil snapped. His voice was quiet but the steel under it was unmistakable. “He wouldn’t dare- Logan, I helped him. My gut is never wrong, and I trusted him- I still do. We’re missing something, so don’t you dare talk about him as if he would do something like that- like he would just- toy with people.” A sigh fell from his lips, and his eyes traced to the ground. “Logan, you’re my best friend, but you can’t just talk like- like you know everything all the time. Like you know everyone. It’s your greatest flaw. And I know you’re aware of it. So just-“

“Stop criticizing him. You’re taking his side over your lifelong friend.” Logan’s voice was broken, devastated, and there was a moment of stunned silence before Virgil spoke again.

“No, I’m calling you out on your bullshit. You broke his heart first, in case you managed to forget. I doubt it though, with that big head of yours.”

“Fuck you, Virgil.” Logan said, glare at the other turning sharp.

“And now you’re throwing a temper tantrum. Very mature.”

In a second, Logan was on top of him. Their lips clashed aggressively, Logan’s hands around the front of Virgil’s hoodie in a white knuckled grip as he pinned him to the bed and Virgil’s hands spread from his sides, expression one of shock. In another second, Virgil had flipped them aggressively, kissing Logan back even harder, being pulled closer on the top of the other by the same grip that had held him in place, dominating Logan’s mouth with a skilled tongue, more experienced than he could even hope to be.

And in a third second, it was over, Virgil pushing himself off the other roughly and standing where Logan had been a moment before. He stared at his shaking hands before he shoved them through his hair, carding through it anxiously, pulling at it and scratching at his scalp.

Logan ran a hand up to his own mouth, tracing his fingertips over his red lips. His own expression was dark. Still a glare, but now of befuddlement. A glare because he didn’t understand what he was feeling, it was all too new and confusing. His eyes flickered up to Virgil’s at the same moment that his flickered down, wide, scared.

“Jesus fucking Christ what the FUCK.” Virgil finally said, burying a burning face in his hands. “Where- where the fuck did that even come from? What the fuck- I don’t- you don’t- we were just- god, not fucking AGAIN-“

Logan saw the beginnings of a panic attack in his posture, voice, in his face. The fact that he was the cause only made it worse. He stood slowly, hands up placatingly. “Virgil- Virge- in for four, come on- hold for seven, out for eight. May I touch you?”

“Hell fucking NO you can’t TOUCH ME!” His breathing wasn’t evening out, his hands now wrapped tightly around his chest, clenching on his hoodie. He dropped down to a squat, pushing himself harshly against the wall, certainly causing bruises as his breath turned even more ragged.

“...fair enough. Still- breathe, Virgil. Four... seven... eight... that’s it...” He’d never felt more powerless during one of Virgil’s attacks as he did then, kneeling far enough away that he wasn’t touching the other, yet close enough that Virgil could reach out if he wanted.

“This isn’t okay- this isn’t fair- fuck, what kind of shit fucking asshole of a god-“ his hands covered his mouth, and his curses were indiscernible for a moment.

“Virgil. You need to calm down.” Logan spoke firmly, fingertips digging into the carpet to prevent himself from reaching out.

“Calm the fuck down what the fuck kind of bullshit- bitch- fucking- JESUS- Logan what the FUCK? Why would you do that?! Why did you think it was even slightly okay to do that?! I fucking- you’re my best fucking friend, my ONLY fucking friend-! Have you just wanted to get into my pants this entire time what the fUCK-“

Logan winced, looking down. “I- I don’t know. It just- I didn’t think- I just acted...”

“YOU just ACTED?” Virgil looked up at him, betrayed. “Since when do you EVER act on high strung emotions? I love being around you because you don’t, because you think through every scenario before choosing an action. Because you plan out entire fucking games of chess before making a first move and get annoyed when I don’t do exactly what you’d anticipated and you have to think through everything again- so since when the FUCK do you just ACT on your EMOTIONS.”

“You kissed back!” Logan’s declaration brought more silence, more of Virgil looking downward and running his hands exasperatedly across his face.

“God you’re fucking right- you’re always- always right." He practically whined, rocking back and forth on the ground. "Why did I kiss back? What the fuck is wrong with me? What’s wrong with US? Jesus- I’m supposed to be crushing on Pat- and you’re supposed to be with Ro- why the fuck did we do that? Logan what the fuck-“

“Would you kindly stop swearing every two words?”

“Uhh fucking no?” Virgil glared, but Logan could see the pure panic in his eyes. It melted away as his form fell back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling with a sense of hopelessness Logan had never seen and tears of absolute panic and hatred willing in his eyes, but when he spoke, his voice was soft and quiet.. “Logan- I- can you go? I don’t- I seriously need to think. About a lot of things. Fuck, I need to think.” His hands went to his face once more, brokenly.

For only a moment did Logan consider arguing. Begging him to let them talk about this together, as they always did, but- it was a rare enough occasion that Virgil said no to that idea.

He gave a curt nod and stood. “I apologize. I should never have acted in such a way. It was indecent and you didn’t deserve such a conflict to consider. Just- I appreciate you Virgil. I may not express it often, most certainly not often enough but- you’re- I mean, you're- I don’t want to lose your companionship over this.”

He paused at the door. “Please text me when you have thought this through completely. I’m-“ his hand gripped the door hard enough to turn his knuckles white. “I’m so sorry.”

Logan almost wished Virgil called him back in as he was leaving, told him that he was already fine, that they could talk.

Instead, the door shut behind him with a resounding, final, thud.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pan back to Roman, who goes to Patton for advice. A certain snakey boi makes his first appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot this tonight!!! Fluff-ville makes its final appearance <3
> 
> Warnings: implied child abuse/injuries, caps! Cursing technically? Manipulative behavior but not really

“I didn’t even kiss him, I told him no- why, why did I tell him no-“

Patton had only just opened his door to this. To a panicking Roman pacing and tapping to release nervous energy, already ranting to his own feet. He saw Patton and entered uninvited, running fingers through his own hair.

“Pat- god, I messed up- what do I do now? Hell-“

Patton made a bowl of strawberry ice cream, continuing to listen to Roman’s unintelligible rambling before pushing him back onto the couch. He went without complaint, without stirring from his own thoughts, simply taking the bowl from Patton and stuffing a spoon in his mouth. He chewed it, and Patton winced.

“So what happened exactly?”

“Hell-“ Roman said when he finished his ice cream bite. “Okay, I don’t talk about- romantic interests often unless I’m actually dating them. So- it’s really personal.”

Patton smiled to encourage him. He sighed, relaxing into the couch. “Alright- do you know Virgil and Logan? Virgil Storm, Logan Zeit? They’re friends, so if you know one you’ve probably heard of the other-“ Patton nodded.

“Right- Well- problem. I’ve been in love with Logan basically since I first met him, and I confessed and he declined and then I somehow ended up kissing Virgil and he said he had someone he liked already and I had a big freak out. Because I like both of them, and that’s super weird. And thEN Logan said he liked me too! Right after I kissed Virgil!!! So I said, ‘no,’ because like how messed up would it be if I started dating him right after I kissed his best friend like what the hell?? I can’t do that!! And I don’t know which of them I like more, PLUS I couldn’t date Logan while still thinking of his friend so-!” He stopped, taking an angry bite of ice cream. “What do I do, Pat?”

“... hang on, you kissed Virgil?”

Roman froze, then slammed his bowl onto the couch. “AH HELL. Why did I come to you for this, of all people?! He just- I- MOTHER-“

“Father.” Patton spoke as a correction, hand to his chin, looking down in thought.

Roman searches his gaze for a moment, mouth open slightly, contemplating what to say. “Does that- bother you, at all?”

“You kissing Virgil?”

Roman made a noise of confirmation, and Patton returned it with a hum of thought.

“I don’t think so. I do like him, but- how do I put this. He’s not- we’re not dating. I’m not bugged by it. Besides that, I’m poly, too much love to give, so even if he dated somebody while he was dating me, as long as he told me I wouldn’t have a problem with it.”

“Do you like him?”

“I like a lot of people!” Patton exclaimed. “But- yeah. Definitely.”

“That’s not fair at all.” Roman mumbled. “Now I wanna set you two up and I’m still not over my feelings for him.”

“I ship you guys. You’d be cute. It’s like the prince and the misunderstood villain... ooo.” Patton smiled at the idea, and Roman raised a brow with a smirk.

“You probably shouldn’t ship your crush with others.”

“What, you don’t think me and Virgil would be good together?” Patton pouted, and Roman paused in thought.

“Huh. Actually, it would be adorable. He’s so emo, and then you’re a ball of sunshine- you’d probably be a really positive light, maybe you’d even be able to end his streak of pessimism.”

“Giving me too much credit here, Roman." Patton giggled contentedly. “What about Logan and Virgil? You have a crush on both of them. What about their dating?” At Roman’s scowl, he spoke again. “Try not to think about yourself here, just think of them as a couple. What would they do?”

Roman sighed, rubbing a temple in thought. “Well- they're already friends. They’ve been together all their lives, they know each other inside out- Logan could calm Virgil’s thoughts, because he definitely thinks too much. And Virgil worries so much, he’d be amazing at reminding Logan to eat, and drink, and take care of himself. And their kissing...” Roman’s face turned a bright red. “Hell. Is it bad that that’s an appealing thought?”

“I don’t think it’s bad at all. What about me and Logan? I’ve never thought about that one.”

“You and Logan...” Roman smiled giddily. “Logan would act so annoyed around you, but he’d never have an actual problem. You’d remind him that it’s fine to feel things, that feelings can be amazing. He’d remind you to play it safe sometimes, to watch out for yourself. You two would probably be the most functional of any of us. Like- together you make a perfect adult.” He let out a laugh.

“And what about us?”

“Huh?” Roman looked up, startled, to see Patton staring intently at him.

“What. About. Us?” He asked, and he almost seemed teasing in how slow he said the words. "How would we work?”

Roman’s face began turning another shade of red, and he looked at his fingers, heart thudding. “Well- I mean- we wouldn’t be very responsible, but we’d always have so much fun...” As he relaxed, he grew more passionate. “We would always be willing to try any new thing the other liked. We’d both cuddle a lot. We’d be a happy, giggly couple with no cares in the world, and we’d never be able to part, because we’re both very emotional- we’d just never want to leave each other’s side. And we’d probably annoy other people a lot, but we’d be blinded with love and would never be able to see it, their negative opinions would never affect us.” He finally looked back up to Patton to see the other’s face so close, he could just lean in and- 

“AH H E L L .” He screeched, jumping off the couch. “I’m leaving, I didn’t come here to get another crush, I came to get rid of mine, and now you’re here and I just-“ He let out a heavy sigh, pulling his hands down his face as Patton seemed to grin cheekily. “Yeah. Okay. Sure. I’m- bye pat. Seeya later.”

Somebody knocked on the door, and they both paused. Roman went and answered it to see a boy even shorter than him, coming up to his collarbone with freckles dotting his face, slightly more concentrated on his left. He gave the boy a once over, spotting his duck boots and raising a confused brow before turning the look to Patton, who had risen, an interesting shade of red coming over his face as he tried to wipe away his grin.

The boy’s eyes were wide. He narrowed them with a smirk, winking and saluting. “Oh, I’m so sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt you and your- mmm- games, Patton.”

Patton spluttered for a moment in indignation. “I- it’s not like that, Dee, why would you even-“

“Shsh. Yeah, keep lying, my friend, it’s not like I’ve known you long enough to see through every single one you tell.” He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. Patton spluttered again before silencing himself.

“So what's his problem?” Dee said, entering the room without permission. Roman watched as he hopped to take off his boots, grabbing a pair of soft snake slippers- complete with tongues- from Patton’s wall, and he frowned at how familiar this stranger acted here.

“Crush stuff.” Patton responded almost immediately, and Roman glared at him even though he mumbled a ‘sorry’ as Dee took his hands out of the freezer with rocky road ice cream in hand, giving Roman a once over of his own. 

“Really?” He asked, turning his head to Patton in confusion, and Roman turned red at the almost-compliment.

Patton gave a nod, walking over to his closet and pulling out a fluffy pillow. He placed it on the couch, and Dee gave a grateful smile before sitting with a hiss of pain. Roman sat on the far end away from him, his choice to leave abandoned in his curiosity.

Patton left the room and went to the freezer, thankfully not commenting on Roman’s change of heart, and Roman looked at the ice cream already in Dee’s hands with confusion. He returned with ice packs and wash clothes in his hands, giving the other only a glance before he knelt in front of the long-sleeved child.

“Where.”

“Ugh, everywhere.” Dee groaned dramatically with a smile, but still pointed to a point on his arm and one on his ribs when Patton gave him a stern glare. Patton gently pressed one ice pack to his side, giving the other to Dee. It was quickly pressed against the spot on his arm, and he let out a content, shaky sigh. 

“Do you want to tell me how?”

“Never,” Dee said playfully. He sighed anyway, this one laced with exhaustion. “A bat.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Roman jolted at hearing Patton swear, catching the look on his face. He was angrier than Roman had ever seen him, eyebrows pushed together in worry and fury. The ice pack was gently pulled away from his ribs, and Patton traced his fingers over the area instead. “Have you checked for breaks?”

“No- hurts too much.” Dee whined.

“Can I?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Damien.”

Dee- Damien smiled sadly before chewing on his lip with a glance at the ground. “Yeah. Careful though, please?”

“Never anything but.” Patton spoke, gently prodding at Damien’s ribs. The whines that left his mouth as his hands held tightly to the other ice pack were pitiful, as was Patton’s expression upon hearing them. He let out a sigh when he finished tracing the area. “I think you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I feel greeeeeeeat,” Dee giggled, wincing as it jolted his injuries. Patton quickly pressed the ice pack back against his side.

“I’m lost, what happened?” Roman finally spoke up, and Damien gave him a curious look.

“Oh, you’re still here. Spectacular.” The smaller spoke with sass, and Roman’s mouth quirked into a grimace.

“Right!” Patton exclaimed before they could bicker. “Roman, this is Damien! Basically my best friend since forever, and sudo-datemate. Damien, this is-“

“Roman, star football player, lead actor in every play and musical he’s been a part of since eight years ago. Probable crush- Logan Zeit. Sexuality- purely gay, and makes plenty of jokes about being so. Ranks second on the school popularity chart.” Damien finished, rolling his eyes in a bored manner.

Roman stared, blinking, and Patton gave a sheepish grin. “I forgot you do that, sorry. Goodness, it’s been a while since I’ve introduced you to anyone!” The shorter nodded.

“Hang on— I’m second?! Who’s first?!” Roman asked angrily.

Damien raised his brows. “Of course that’s what you’re caught up on. Remy Esper. They’re just more open than you and their natural personality is still lovable. They’re honest, and everybody likes them.”

Roman sagged in defeat. He couldn’t really argue. “How do you know all this? Hold on, how old are you?”

“I’m in your grade, idiot. Same age as all of you.”

Roman gave him a skeptical expression and he glared. 

“Just because I’m short doesn’t mean I’m a child!” He sighed in defeat. “Kay, pay up.” Damien held out a hand expectantly.

“Hm?”

“Eye for an eye. I give you info, you give me more back or money. Economy.” His fingers twitched. Patton sighed.

“Dee, can you- let this one drop? For me? He didn’t know, besides- he’s my friend.”

“Eeeeveryone’s your friend, patty. Although judging by your flush earlier, he’s a bit more than that.” He lowered his hand reluctantly. “Pity- I don’t even know that much about him. I was excited to learn.”

“Don’t know much about me?” Roman gave a head tilt, and Dee’s gaze grew intently curious.

“I know you learned Spanish before you came to this school, and I know about your previous roles from the bulletin board on your room wall-“ He rushed through speaking upon seeing Roman’s violated glare. “However, I know next to nothing about you before you came here other than those simple facts. You do not carry your past with you. It makes things far more difficult for me, yet also far more interesting.”

Roman shuddered at his expression, like he was dissecting him.

Patton snapped his fingers to regain Damien’s attention. “Dee, you know that’s creepy. Stop.”

“Oh I’d loooove to.” Dee said with a laugh. “Unfortunately I must find some way to pay these dastardly tuition prices!”

“Your family pays for it, we both know that.”

“Isn’t it amazing how my family does soooo much for me.” Damien said darkly, glowering at the ground.

Patton had no response.

Instead, he leaned up and took Dee’s now empty bowl. He left the room, and Roman found himself once again fixed with the spectating look.

“So what does ‘crush stuff’ imply?” He asked, sounding honestly concerned. “I won’t tell anyone, probably.”

“That is not reassuring.”

“Pat tells me everything, so I’ll find out eventually anyway.”

“You sell the information Patton gives you?”

“Yeah. I don’t tell him because he’d get upset, but I leave money in his pockets so he thinks he forgot it there. He usually spends it on ice cream for the people that vent to him, so I suppose it works out.” Damien blew a strand of hair out of his face. Roman put air in one side of his cheek to think.

“Well, I suppose. I’ll have to be more careful about my venting to Patton.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Nobody yet has thought to buy the information that you feel horribly alone so very often, that you need people to notice you, to watch you. That it’s painful when all eyes are not on you. You’re alright so far.”

“Thanks for the reminders.” Roman sighed. “And if you must know, I’m struggling with feelings for three different people. That is all.”

“I’d assume one of which is Patton.” Dee paused in thought. “Another being Logan Zeit. Who is the third?”

“Virgil. Hopefully no more.”

Damien gave a long groan of distress, an unintelligible noise. “VIRGIL. Really??? Another admirer? I get enough about him from Patton, can’t you just fall for someone else? He’s not even that amazing- he has an anxiety disorder-!! what??? It’s because he’s tall, isn’t it?? Friggin 6’5” freak boy- I’m only 4’3”, But I’d bet I’D do better than he could ever do in bed- Remind me to seduce him later, now I’m curious-“ He let out a litany of curses, many in different languages, just as Patton walked back in the room.

“Did you bring up Virgil?” Roman gave a nod in response and Patton sighed as he sat next to Roman and Damien, taking Dee’s hand. He immediately silenced himself, staring at where their hands met for a long moment. He slowly turned a bright red, his other hand darting up to hide the lower half of his face as his eyes widened, darting between Patton’s face to their hands.

“That’s not faaaair...” He whined, and Patton only chuckled.

“Do you two want to stay here tonight?” Patton asked with a head tilt. “Damien, I’m not letting you go home anyway, but- Roman?” Roman jumped at his name. “Would you like to stay with us tonight?”

Roman flushed for a moment. “I- it was my full intention to leave. You realize that, right?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t want to interrupt your time together.”

“You won’t be. Damien, you good?” Patton turned to the other who smirked.

“Absolutely. Maybe I can learn more about him-“ Patton gave him a glare and he quickly clarified. “Uhh- only information he wants to share.”

“But-“ Roman tried to think of an excuse, but he realized he didn’t need one. If he didn’t want to stay, Patton wasn’t going to force him. That’s how he was. He also realized that he didn’t really want to go back to his room. His room where Virgil and Logan could contact him whenever they wanted. That he would far prefer staying here with Patton, who he knew wouldn’t pry, would let him talk when he wanted. “Okay.” He finally said meekly.

He didn’t have anywhere else to go, anyway.

Patton’s face lit up and even Damien offered a small smile, though it was quickly removed.

“SLEEPOVER!!” Patton suddenly screeched, making Roman wince. He rushed to his closet again, returning with some of the fluffiest blankets Roman had seen in his life. He threw them carelessly on top of the two. “CAN WE MAKE A FORT?!?!”

“Uhhhh-“

“Certainly!” Damien exclaimed before Roman could even think about shutting him down. He shot Roman a glare as he stood, blankets falling to the floor as Patton rushed around the room, setting chairs up around the couch. Roman tried his best to make his own additions, occasionally tweaking Patton’s design. He brought in Patton’s mini fridge and set it up to face inwardly, allowing them snacks whenever they so pleased. As for Damien- he ran around giggling, destroying their work for fun. Patton didn’t get angry with him once, rebuilding it every time. The rebuilt versions always managed to look better than the previous ones.

Dee was the first to collapse into the fluffy fort, followed quickly by an exhausted Roman. They both fell asleep, curling into each other with sleepy mumbles in minutes. Damien’s arms wrapped loosely around Roman’s torso and Roman’s around his shoulders. Patton let out a soft giggle at the sight and took a picture of them before settling next to Damien and taking another of all three of them. 

He then wrapped his own arms around his boyfriend, kissing the back of his head as he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you want ^^   
> Also follow me on Tumblr! I'm better at arting than I am writing haha- pendragonqueen09.tumblr.com


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